lesbiassparrow: (Default)
[personal profile] lesbiassparrow
Why did no one tell me how awesomely bad Eragon is? It's a magnificent waste of Jeremy Irons (did the man learn NOTHING from Dungeons and Dragons?) and John Malkovich and some assorted other people. I FUCKING LOVE HOW THE DRAGON GROWS UP IN THREE SECONDS IN THE AIR AS OUR HERO TRIES TO 'ACT'.

THE TIME OF THE DRAGON RIDERS IS HERE AGAIN, PEOPLE. I SHALL ENJOY GETTING DRUNK TO THIS, THANK YOU IN DEMAND.

ETA; OH, HERO, WHOEVER YOU ARE, I LOVE YOUR 'ANGER' THAT MAKES ANAKIN'S LOOK WELL ACTED. PLEASE TELL ME THE BOOK IS THIS CRAP.

ETA 2: Er, am I supposed to like the hero? Because he's all sorts of awful times x100 with an added pile of stupid just for effect. BUT LOLZ ON 'I CAN'T BE ONE WITH YOU MY DRAGON YET.' That's all sort of kinky.

Date: 2008-12-24 11:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] unusualmusic.livejournal.com
The book is actually WORSE CRAP. Its a very, very, very, very VERY inferior hodgepodge of Harry Potter and LOTR. Boring clunky stupid overly long. Dumb.

Date: 2008-12-25 12:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
Worse...?

How could you write something worse than this? Howwwwwww? It makes that SciFi channel film with the Nazi werewolves look like genius.

WHUT now?

Date: 2008-12-25 12:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] unusualmusic.livejournal.com
*blinkblinkblink*




I mean, Scifi channel is complete and utter CRAP but.


Nazi werewolves

WHUT???????????????????

Re: WHUT now?

Date: 2008-12-25 12:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
There's one with Nazi gargoyles but sadly I have never seen it, just heard of its wonders.

And the Nazi werewolves one is AWESOME. If you ever get the chance you need to watch it.

Re: WHUT now?

Date: 2008-12-25 03:36 am (UTC)
morwen_peredhil: (cameron pms gun - by blackdoggy1)
From: [personal profile] morwen_peredhil
I didn't see this before I commented about Mansquito, but you are so right.

SS Doomtrooper was also less awful than Eragon.

Date: 2008-12-25 01:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sucrelefey.livejournal.com
The books and there are 3 are indeed far far far worse than the flick. I think Cleo might have a 15M of this one or at least snarky icons for sure.

Date: 2008-12-25 11:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cleolinda.livejournal.com
Amazingly, I don't! I love costumes in general so much, though, that I devoted an entire picspam entry to bitching about Elf Chick's outfits. (SHE GROWS A SLEEVE.)

(ALSO WORST HEALER EVER.)

Date: 2008-12-25 06:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sucrelefey.livejournal.com
I swear I saw icons from you for this, on JF maybe.

Date: 2008-12-25 08:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cleolinda.livejournal.com
Actually, you know what, I think I do remember those now. I have no idea where I've put them, though.

Date: 2008-12-28 01:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
I sort of want to read the book now because I don't believe that it's possible for anything to be worse than this. Only I don't want to spend my own good money on it because that will only encourage the author to keep producing.

Date: 2008-12-25 03:33 am (UTC)
morwen_peredhil: (cameron pms gun - by blackdoggy1)
From: [personal profile] morwen_peredhil
Eragon was one of the most derivative, poorly written, and hideously acted pieces of crap I have ever seen. It compares unfavorably to some Sci Fi Channel Original movies. (Mansquito!)

I hear the book is just as awful, but after reading Twilight I know better than to go there.

Date: 2008-12-25 05:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
There is no upside to this film. Apart from the amount of hilarity that ensued at some of the more 'moving' scenes. THAT HERO WAS SUCH A JERK. HE MAKES BELLA IN TWILIGHT LOOK DEEP AND MEANINGFUL AND GENEROUS. At least she didn't fucking insist of always doing what was really dangerous and then getting people killed without a single sign that anyone though he was a) wrong or b) ever feeling sorry about it.

Date: 2008-12-25 11:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cleolinda.livejournal.com
Yeah... I saw it on cable a while back, and it's excruciating. Like, I've heard that the books are basically this derivative mishmash--Lord of the Pern Wars, if you will--but the movie's just... well, you saw it. The only thing I found the least bit interesting was that the costume people decided to go Pocahontas instead of Tolkien with the elf chick. Like, they were going to do something unexpected or die trying.

Oh, and it hurts my heart that Rachel Weisz was involved with this in any capacity.

Date: 2008-12-25 05:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
I fear the book that produced this. Because as bad as Bella in Twilight is, even she can't match the ball of self-involvement, ego, self-righeousness and just sheer all round GET HIM OFF MY SCREEN, I WANT TO KILL HIM NOW that this hero induced.

But it made me laugh. I'll give it that.

Date: 2009-01-06 07:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lavidaessueno.livejournal.com
THE BOOK IS WORSE.

I shall provide just one reason among many. Movies are visual, and thus it is rather difficult to halt the action to provide a whole lot of introspection. Not so books, which allow authors such as this kid to start a fight scene, then back out of it with all manner of exposition and inner dialogue and other irrelevant, everything-to-a-screeching-halt drivel, then jump back into the fight with no realization that any dramatic tension that might somehow have made its way into the scene originally has long since evaporated.

Date: 2009-01-08 05:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
Next time I'm at the public library I'm going to have to see if I can find a copy and goggle at this horror for myself.

What especially struck me was how incredibly unlikeable the hero was. And going by what you say I doubt the writer made him deliberately horrible and unpleasant and probably the first person on everyone's 'people we'd like to stab and then drop off a cliff to be sure they're dead' list.

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