Watchmen

Apr. 1st, 2009 09:41 am
lesbiassparrow: (THEY MOVE LIKE COUGARS)
[personal profile] lesbiassparrow
This might have been a good movie if:

1. It had been about an hour shorter. Seriously? You made a movie about a giant blue guy and his issues that ran to what felt like 15 hours but what my watch assured me was around 3? I KNOW THERE WERE OTHER THINGS BUT MAINLY ALL I REMEMBER IS THE ENORMOUS BLUE GUY. WITH HIS ENORMOUS TACKLE.
2. Giant blue guy had talked faster. His entire backstory wouldn't have taken FOREVER if he hadn't talked like this: So...yeah...in...the...past....I...totally...did...things...and...then...I...did...some...other...things...and...etc . Also, I did not actually feel the need to find out everyone's back story. Don't be afraid to leave some mystery!
3. A better script. I don't know if they used lines from the comic or not, but whatever they did it wasn't good. Though, fair enough, they did share the bad writing amongst all the cast.
4. Less of enormous blue schlong. I appreciate that you are probably telling me something important about giant blue guy's lack of human values, but I got it by the third time it wandered into view.
5. One ending. You know, everything in a narrative does not have to be resolved. You can leave some loose ends. It's not Lord of the Rings and I don't actually have to see people sail off to the west just to be happy.
6. Been vastly less self-important. I've seen less self-important Tolstoy adaptations.

And maybe it's just me, but I'm tired of the way that all cities look the same in superhero films. It's like there's one giant ur-city that they're pulling from and now whenever a character turns down a dark alley it will always look the same and have the same thugs and the same dumpster and even the same puddles of water.

Regarding the misogyny and politics, I have mixed feelings. I go into these films pretty much expecting what I got here, so I was't surprised (which is depressing when I think about it). In fact, I don't really think it was that much different from The Dark Knight in that respect. And it might even have been a bit better than Sin City.

Date: 2009-04-01 05:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alexandral.livejournal.com
Been vastly less self-important. I've seen less self-important Tolstoy adaptations.

Me too.
I appreciate that you are probably telling me something important about giant blue guy's lack of human values, but I got it by the third time it wandered into view.

Ha-ha-ha! I absolutely love the way you put it. :D

Date: 2009-04-01 06:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
The endless voiceovers of self-importance just made me twitch. Every second scene there seemed to be someone droning on about how this was all really significant stuff about humanity AND SUCH.

Date: 2009-04-01 09:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alexandral.livejournal.com
It felt like 15 hours of endless self-importance and I could have liked Rorschach much better if he didn't do the voiceovers of boredom.

Date: 2009-04-01 06:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salamandersam.livejournal.com
I had almost the completely opposite reaction to the movie. It didn't feel like nearly 3 hours to me, and the blue wang didn't bother me. Then again, I was distracted by the awesome badassness that is Rorschach, even though he's a right-wing, paranoid, sociopath.

Date: 2009-04-01 06:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
I was distracted by the awesome badassness that is Rorschach, even though he's a right-wing, paranoid, sociopath.

It is a testament to the depth of my boredom that I hate him not for his politics but for his endless voiceover of telling me things that I could have guessed for myself. I know the central conceit is that we're getting the truth through his journals, but I spent most of the time just wanting him to stop droning on. And on. And on.

Date: 2009-04-01 06:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salamandersam.livejournal.com
I think like you said below, this movie is either love or hate.

Date: 2009-04-01 06:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
Totally. As we were leaving moaning about it the couple behind us were saying how awesome it was.

Date: 2009-04-01 07:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] salamandersam.livejournal.com
I'll admit I'm pretty damn easy to please, though not on the "I love Tim Allen movies" level. I wanted to see the movie because I loved the look of the movies and I was interested in seeing a portrayal of super-hero's that show's how truly fucked up it is to dress up in costume and go around beating people up.

Date: 2009-04-01 08:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
I was interested in seeing a portrayal of super-hero's that show's how truly fucked up it is to dress up in costume and go around beating people up.

In this I think it might have missed its time, though. It seems like every superhero is messed up and every film is explicit about that now; what would be truly revolutionary is to try and sell the opposite narrative if you could.

Date: 2009-04-01 06:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kittenscurious.livejournal.com
I agree with [livejournal.com profile] salamadersam. I have seen this movie twice and neither time did it feel like a three hour movie to me.

Also, the blue wang was my FAVORITE part. The second time I saw it, I felt like there was less penis than the first time I saw, and I was a sad panda.

And regarding the city, I think the superhero cities all tend to look the same because they all tend to be based off of New York, and I would imagine that one dark alley looks very much like another.

Date: 2009-04-01 06:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
This is obviously one of those love/hate films. I didn't actually hate it with the fiery passion of a thousand suns, but I got really, really tired of it and everyone in it. I think the problem with having all cities look the same is that you keep feeling that you've seen this scene before (and you have, just not necessarily in this film) and for a movie that clearly took itself very seriously this just engendered ennui rather than interest (for me, at any rate).

Date: 2009-04-01 06:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kittenscurious.livejournal.com
I definitely understand that. One of my guy friends was bored to tears throughout the entire thing, so I think it definitely caters to certain people. I love it a ridiculous amount, but I can see why someone else might not like it.

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