lesbiassparrow: (love is never wrong)
[personal profile] lesbiassparrow

Apparently this entire thing is based on some song or other about a guy who chases a wild horse down a cliff. It has all the fine writing that you would expect from such a pedigree.

[livejournal.com profile] caerbannog this one is for you and your birthday. Jackman the Emo Sailor wishes you many happy returns. And for [livejournal.com profile] sajia: it's not Korean and drama queens, but there is womanpain of a sort.

20 years later that young man has a rather terrifying mustache and has, shall we say, run to seed a little.

But you don't care about that, do you? All you care about is Hugh Jackman the Emo Sailor. I can't remember his name in this so I shall either call him Jackman or Emo Sailor.

An astonishing amount of Jackman the Emo Sailor's first episode involves him buying a hat. Not a lot happened on a regular basis in Snowy River. (And yet they spun 60+ episodes out of this show.)

SEE? More hat scenes. (And there was one more that I didn't cap. You can thank me later.)

I thought Mr. Mustache McGregor was going to die in the first episode. He was on some mad training routine involving randomly carrying sacks of things up hills while his mustache quivered. And a wild horse reared in the background. It was about as unpleasant as you would imagine.

Sadly this was not Mustache McGregor gasping his last, but simply getting ready for more. There was no justice in the Australian outback.

Back to Jackman the Emo Sailor. He has nightmares involving his Tragic Past.

THE HORROR. THE HORROR. He was clearly on whatever ship the ancient mariner was on.

Before I forget: the Useless McGregor Daughter. I can't remember her name either. (What? I drank a lot while I was watching this. It didn't help. NOW I JUST HAVE DRUNKEN FLASHBACKS. Like being in 'Nam but with more horses.)

Random (and only) ethnic minority about to be fired by the Useless McGregor Daughter.

The agony of breakfast at the McGregors.

Oh Jackman, you Emo Sailor you, it will only get worse.

This was an excellent episode. Woman of Ill Repute moves to town. People react in much the ways you would expect.

She hangs around being Ill-Reputed with local yokels.

Not Useless McGregor Daughter-in-Law. I wonder if she and Woman of Ill Repute can possibly have a past? I WONDER.

You can't tell it from this picture, but in this episode Jackman the Emo Sailor was also having a breakdown.

The McGregors missed no opportunity to discuss this. With as many random people as possible.

Mustache McGregor again. Just to scar your souls a little.

This guy, who conveniently looks totally evil, shows up. He is from Emo Sailor's past.

"NOT YOU!" cries Jackman! "Shouldn't you be dead along with hundreds of other people? I know I totally steered that ship on the rock, because when I kill people, I kill them good!"

Such is his anguish that it can only be cured by having them take his shirt off and a Woman of Ill Repute feeling him up.

Mustache McGregor wonders why people don't do that sort of stuff to him.

Jackman the Emo Sailor has no answer.


This may have been one of the more beautiful scenes ever filmed for any TV show. LOOK AT THE GHOSTS OF THE PEOPLE HE KILLED.


In the rather awesome other plot of this episode The McGregor Son who is a Pastor decides that his wife might have been a Woman of Ill Repute in the past. But he doesn't care! She is carrying his child! (For what appears to be 10 months. Poor woman.)

"How is that your first guess?" asks McGregor Daughter-in-Law. "EH? EH?" (She has a very good point. And even if you think it, maybe not best to hint at it. That Woman of Ill-Repute is the mother who ran off on her and her father is a much more likely guess anyway.)

There's some groveling after this. AS THERE SHOULD BE.

Everything is resolved somehow. I only post this so you can see Jackman is still wearing his sailor t-shirt under his rancher clothing. I hope he washes it sometimes.

GYPSIES. This was the best episode of the lot. This is them trapped in a tree by cows.

This is them strutting their stuff

Despite their best attempts to convince me otherwise, there is no way this guy is straight.

See? See?

DANCING! I wish I could have gotten good screen caps of the fire eating, but, trust me, IT WAS AMAZING.

As amazing as the gypsy episode was, it did not have the sheer WTFery of the mystic healing one. Which also had man from Woman of Ill Repute's past and some Veiled Woman.


The other plot involves this girl being mystically healed. Here, she is as frozen as a popsicle


Mustache McGregor again wonders why this never happens to him.

There's no way that you can tell from this picture but - trust me on this - they are having cups of tea while the Mystically Healed Girl is off outside getting wood and possibly chopping it. WHAT SORT OF PEOPLE WERE THEY IN THE OUTBACK????? Who sends a mystically unfrozen girl off to get wood while you stand inside chatting?

Crazy veiled lady again!

I really wish this was McGregor Daughter-in-Law planning on shooting everyone, but instead - in a plot development that made me go WTF - she is fighting off the men coming to arrest guy whom Woman of Ill Repute (revealed to be her mother) ran off with.

This guy's expression more or less captures my feelings.

Oh. Guy Pearce is in this as well, but I don't have any screencaps of him. Just imagine he's on his cattle drive to China or wherever it was.

Date: 2009-09-04 05:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sucrelefey.livejournal.com
Oh boy was he ever young; still has the baby cheeks.

Date: 2009-09-04 05:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
Young as he was, he was old enough to have emo!

Date: 2009-09-04 05:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] balcarin.livejournal.com

Date: 2009-09-04 05:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com

Date: 2009-09-04 05:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sassachusetts.livejournal.com
Please tell me that Hugh Jackman threw his head back and screamed his wordless anguish into the sky at least once.

Date: 2009-09-04 06:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
I think Jackman was still in embryo emo manpain form, so he did not reach those giddy heights. It made me very sad.

Date: 2009-09-04 06:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lage-nom-ai.livejournal.com
I had an annoying day, and this just totally made up for all of the aggravation! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Date: 2009-09-04 06:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
The McGregors are all so proud. They do like to be of use.

Date: 2009-09-04 06:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] meganbmoore.livejournal.com
Would you *cough* happen to know how netflix lists these episodes?

Also, i suspect Mustache MacGregor would have good luck with women if he shaved.

Date: 2009-09-04 06:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
Mustache McGregor is also a)an MP and b) the richest man in the area, so I bet that has some pulling power.
As for how *ahem* they might be listed on netflix, I think they are under Snowy River: McGregor Saga. I have a feeling they only ever released these 9 episodes for North America. Bastards saving me from myself.

Date: 2009-09-04 06:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] caerbannog.livejournal.com
OMG, BEST INTERNET BIRTHDAY GIFT EVER. (With the exception of the horrifying mustache, which is as bad as you said it would be :P) Jackman the Emo Sailor's angst = much love. I can see he does angsty, writhing in torment very well. The ghosts and the gay gypsy who wandered in from Strictly Ballroom are my favorites. YAY. I hope the drunken flashbacks of melodrama and horses don't cause you too much womanpain. :D

Date: 2009-09-04 06:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
The ghost scene was great. They wailed accusations at him! SO GOOD.

And happy, happy birthday. I hope the memories of the mustache fade soon.

Date: 2009-09-04 07:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
This show is currently running on Norwegian telly. Alas, I already knew of its true brilliance from when I lived in Australia.

Date: 2009-09-05 12:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
This show is currently running on Norwegian telly.

All that oil money AND the full running of Snowy River?!!! Some countries get all of the luck.

Date: 2009-09-04 07:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] koalathebear.livejournal.com
Hee hee, I can't wait to see your pic spam of "Paper Back Writer" where Hugh plays the truckdriver who is writes romance novels under a pseudonym.

Apparently this entire thing is based on some song or other about a guy who chases a wild horse down a cliff.

What??? You don't know the Man from Snowy River? :D I never watched the series Snowy but you HAVE to watch the movie the man from snowy river, starring Tom Burlinson and Sigrid Thornton. :D There's a cameo from Kirk Douglas, causing all number of outrage among the Australian Actor's Equity that they had to important a damned American to be in a classic Australian drama :D

The Man From Snowy River was based on the poem of the same name by A. B. "Banjo" Paterson. The poem is absolutely awful, full text here except for maybe the lines:

"And down by Kosciusko, where the pine-clad ridges raise
Their torn and rugged battlements on high,
Where the air is clear as crystal, and the white stars fairly blaze
At midnight in the cold and frosty sky,"

Anyway, it was used quite effectively in a "Keep Australia Beautiful" (anti-littering) campaign.

Date: 2009-09-05 12:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
You don't know the Man from Snowy River?

In my defence they never sang it ONCE on the show. I would have thought they would be busting it out all over given half a chance.

Date: 2009-09-04 10:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fivil.livejournal.com

Date: 2009-09-05 12:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
The magic of the outback is all compelling.

Date: 2009-09-04 11:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nolivingman.livejournal.com
The ghosts! *heart*

If this were a fandom, I feel like Woman of Ill Repute would be my favorite character and I would be mad at fandom for always slagging on her.

Date: 2009-09-05 12:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
You and I could have had wars over Woman of Ill Repute. I got annoyed with her because she seemed incapable of working out why her daughter might possibly be upset with her for running off with a gambling man while she was a wee 'un. And she was a FLOOZY.

Date: 2009-09-04 01:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] escap1974.livejournal.com
Well done! I'm so glad I have you to explain all this stuff to me... 'cause now I never have to watch.


Date: 2009-09-05 12:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
The ghost scene was just amazing. THEY WAILED WHILE JACKMAN GIBBERED IN HORROR. You just don't get that sort of thing on your screen everyday.

Date: 2009-09-04 01:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sloanesomething.livejournal.com
THIS WAS AMAZING. I will never stop laughing at the ghost of the mom and baby, and the drinking tea while the unfrozen girl chops wood. HAHAHAHAHH BUNCH OF JERKS.

Date: 2009-09-05 12:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
The drinking tea thing was just INSANE. Though I think at that point the writers had clearly given up entirely and were just 'yeah! let's have a mystic healing! and make her chop wood because that's the way we roll out here in the outback!'

Date: 2009-09-04 01:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pontisbright.livejournal.com

Date: 2009-09-05 12:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
If I had to select a favourite out of the 9 entire episodes I watched, I think the gypsies would win. It had it all, really. And fire-eating too! AWESOME BEYOND WORDS.

Date: 2009-09-04 01:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] filmi-girl.livejournal.com
That was probably the best thing I will read all day...


I actually snorted in my coffee of the not-so-straight guy. ;D

Date: 2009-09-05 12:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
They made not-so-straight guy have about a billion girls in town in one short episode and it still didn't convince me.

Date: 2009-09-04 03:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sajia.livejournal.com
Breathtaking. But I am a greedy woman and long for East Asian womanpain. Or even Bollywood womanpain, which admittedly I've seen already, lots of, but which isn't the same without your special snark.
I have four concerts coming up in the fall - Our Town cafe on the 18th, Lugz cafe on the 26th, and two in October and November. I'd love you to come (music at myspace.com/sajiasultana) and if you like I'll put you and a friend on the guest list for one of them.

Date: 2009-09-05 12:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
One day, I shall deliver East Asian womanpain! I promise.

Thanks for thinking of me for the concerts - I will pm you later!

Date: 2009-09-04 04:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] namastenancy.livejournal.com
Best screen caps way to wake up ever! Plus, a lesson via screencaps as to why Australian film and/or TV has seldom hit the big time. Good actors (well, some), Hugh Jackman, Guy Pearce but a whole lot of grotty plots + deadly boring dialogue.
As for the two guys drinking tea while the woman chops wood - maybe they are channeling antique Australian male chauvinism?
Fair Dinkum, mate!

Date: 2009-09-05 12:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
deadly boring dialogue.

Well, you know, I wouldn't call it boring exactly. It frequently made me howl with laughter.

I have no idea what was up with the chopping wood thing. It was like how they went from not allowing McGregor Daughter-in-Law do anything at all to having her waitress heavily pregnant.

Date: 2009-09-04 04:57 pm (UTC)
morwen_peredhil: (eric more viking - by moetushie)
From: [personal profile] morwen_peredhil
OMG that mustache. The horror of it will haunt me forever.

However, gay gypsies! Mother and baby ghosts! Ladies of the evening! This is EPIC.

Date: 2009-09-05 12:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
OMG that mustache. The horror of it will haunt me forever.

Me too. Me too.

Date: 2009-09-04 07:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aikakone.livejournal.com
Wow. Pretty, younger Hugh. I still like. :)

Date: 2009-09-05 12:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
Hugh Jackman was most entertaining in this. He writhed in emopain quite nicely.


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