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[personal profile] lesbiassparrow
I just watched this offering by CBC and it was one of those compellingly awful things that one feels an almost instant desire to rewatch (or maybe that's just me?). My favourite bits were the parts where everyone thought that Judah was the Roman Admiral's catamite, though Admiral was 'no, we're just companions.' because that will set everyone's mind at rest, Mr. Admiral Guy.

It also had Lana from Smallville in it, but she didn't have much to do except get stuck in jail and have miraculously cured leprosy. She did that bit as well as one could.

ETA: Also, forgot to say that there was quite a bit of excellent man-painy screaming and wailing to the heavens, if you like that sort of thing. And if you don't like that sort of thing, then I feel deep sorrow for you.

ETA 2: To date, bits of Ben Hur I have rewatched: all scenes between admiral and Ben Hur. Ben Hur's shrieking manpain outside his abandoned house. Athena telling Ben Hur in bed that this is not a sprint. Actually, all the Athena scenes as well.

ETA 3: Things to say while floating on a bit of wood in the Mediterranean:

Admiral: "Maybe I ordered you unchained because I liked the way you ate grapes."
Judah: WTF?*
Admiral: "Oh yeah, and if that's a Roman ship you've just seen you can come and be my body servant."
Judah: Kinda hoping it's pirates.*

Judah replies not actual part of script. But should have been.

ETA 4: "He's no gladiator, he's my body-servant." <---- ACTUAL LINE IN SCRIPT. I want this on an icon of Ben 'we're just companions' Hur

ETA 5: Every moment that passes is a moment where I reflect on the tragic fact that none of you has probably seen the awesomeness that is this version of Ben Hur. I wish the raft scene was on Youtube so I could show you how amazing it was. A THING OF BEAUTY. THE PEOPLE IN THIS SHOULD FIGHT THE PEOPLE FROM CLASH OF THE TITANS AND THEN THE WINNERS COULD RIDE OFF ON GIANT SCORPIONS. (I must say that I do find it a bit creepy that the message Ben Hur + Esther apparently got from all the crucifixion of Jesus was 'let's snog.' But then I suppose that's better than 'let's go out and kill people.'

Date: 2010-04-26 01:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] namastenancy.livejournal.com
I know that you do this for us and, believe me, I respect your research.

Date: 2010-04-26 01:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
I suffer for everyone. I cannot believe that everyone is not posting about this transcendent work of genius. That saddens me.

Date: 2010-04-26 02:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] namastenancy.livejournal.com
Maybe they are awestruck by your sacrifice - this seems to be the most common opinion over at IMDB:

"The cast is absolutely awful, not one character seems to fit (Mesala was perhaps the only good choice) and discoloured curly hair is ridiculous in an antic set up. Lucía Jiménez, who plays Athene, is probably the worst actress I've ever seen, every single line of her dialogues were painful to hear and almost made you feel bad for her.

I've read a few comments saying you shouldn't compare it with the 1959 version since this is a mini-series and everything, but how can't you!! The storyline is totally the same, it's almost a perfect copy of the original, without the goods. Sometimes you feel like your watching a version made by a bunch of friends on Utube, it's almost the same dialogues in some moments, it's ridiculous!

I just don't understand why this was made... I had real expectations about this, I loved the 1959 picture and since it's so widely known by the public I was expecting something new, with an other angle or something... not a plain copy.

Oh and did I mention that Lucía Jiménez is really bad in this?"

Date: 2010-04-26 02:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
But...but - did they not see the awesome raft scene? Hear Judah's manly cries of anguish? Watch mum and sis wail as lepers? HAVE THEY NO SOULS.

This is a thing of beauty. Pure beauty.

Date: 2010-04-26 03:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wistfulmemory.livejournal.com
Oh, man. I remember watching the original version in World History class in high school, and the only reason I made it through without going crazy was because the boy sitting next to me and I said the dialogue along with the movie. I also attempted to read the book, and I gave up halfway through (though I found the part about the wisemen to be very interesting).

Date: 2010-04-26 03:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
I tried to read the book too, but then realised it was horrifically boring. This version is quite entertaining, though perhaps not always in ways they intended. Plus it has some screaming manpain, which is always entertaining to watch. But all else pales besides the awesomeness of the raft scene. I cherish that scene and its magnificent delights so much.

Date: 2010-04-26 04:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wistfulmemory.livejournal.com
You should picspam the raft scene or post it on YouTube so we can witness this awesomeness, too.

Date: 2010-04-26 06:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
I may or may not have taken screencaps of raft scene for later posting. :)

Date: 2010-04-26 06:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] namastenancy.livejournal.com
What? The raft scene and no snogging? I actually liked the first one but then, I was drooling all over Stephen Boyd. What can I say - I've always had a thing for villains. But the movie that I really liked was "The Ten Commandments." Yul Brynner in a kilt, Anne Baxter in gold lame and the ten plagues of Egypt. Now that was a movie!

Date: 2010-04-27 12:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
Trust me: the raft scene was a the pinnacle of the miniseries. I would love the original more if it weren't about 50 hours long. And the 10 Commandments is awesome.

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