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[personal profile] lesbiassparrow
This looks good. The corrupted Senate created gladiatorial shows to distract the people from how awesome Caesar was. I have been promised that somehow this brought down the Republic.

IT IS THE AGE OF THE GLADIATOR. And Octavian is french-kissing some girl. That seems more like him in his youth. BTW, did you know they had refs in gladiatorial shows? They did. It would have stopped the shenanigans in this one where someone attacked before the other was ready. And then somehow mysteriously waited for him to draw his swords. CAESAR IS UPSET ABOUT SUCH THINGS. AND PEOPLE GANGING UP ON GLADIATORS.

ETA: Gladiator who triumphed was not celebrated until he had twirled his swords in some awesome show of something or other. Then they cheered. (I think people often have the wrong idea aobut such shows. People wanted skill not just butchery - they got that at other parts of the games. Where they were just going for blood and guts were the executions of condemned prisoners (which were on in the afternoon break.) Famous gladiators were bloody expensive and you didn't just want them butchered.

ETA 1: Tyrannus the Gladiator has just come upon the (nearly) dead Caesar who has told him to look after Octavian. WHO WILL SAVE ROME. He must teach him how to fight! And rule!

ETA 2: Just so you know that the senate is EVIL they have hired someone named RAPAX. RAPAX. I am not sure that Caesar hiring a Tyrannus is any better, but apparently it is. Now the Senate is going off to kill Caesar's family. INCLUDING THE WIMMIN. NOT THE WIMMIN! I EXPECT TO SEE CICERO KICKING SMALL CHILDREN IN THE FACE SOON.

ETA 3: No! Cicero is the voice of reason for a second! Also although Tyrannus is a slave he a) lives in his own home and b) has a wife and kiddie (also slaves) whom he can send off to Cyprus. Pretty flexible master he has.

ETA 4: Voiceover announces that the trials of Octavian have begun. And he rides off to the music from Born Free. And now the EVIL SENATORS are meeting in...the Senate Crypt. And being evil and stuff. Really evil.

ETA 5: Booorn Freeee. Freee as the wind. And so forth. The senate BECAUSE IT IS EVIL is killing Caesarians. And burning down towns. DO YOU KNOW THEY ARE EVIL? We also get to see the total breakdown of law and order with people OVERTURNING CARTS. NOT CARTS, YOU SAY. YES. A ROMAN CAN'T EVEN PROTECT HIS CARTS.

ETA 6: They have tossed Caesar's sister into a cage. A CAGE. It's a total breakdown of all the values that make Rome great. They'll be breaking into the Temple of Vesta soon. AND OCTAVIAN HAS BEEN BETRAYED BY THE GIRL HE LOVES. AND IS ABOUT TO GET LUCKY. OR UNLUCKY, IF YOU COUNT HER SENDING FOR SOLDIERS TO KILL HIM.

ETA 7: OCTAVIAN IS WEARING TROUSERS! See how evil the Senate is? They forced him to wear trousers as he fled! No Roman should have to endure such things.

ETA 8. Sorry. BUT THIS GOOD STUFF. Cicero is a Caesarian. And smuggling his will into the temple of Vesta. And I think Cassius is about to do something else evil. BECAUSE HE'S AN EVIL SENATOR.

Date: 2011-04-05 03:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] namastenancy.livejournal.com
Is this the one with Jonathan Cake as the gladiator who is supposed to guard Octavian? The history is utter crap but Jonathan has rugged good looks and a great body so I enjoyed it anyway.

Sometimes I am such a cheesy wuss about these films.

Date: 2011-04-05 03:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
Yes it is! It is madly trying to convince me Caesar is a good guy. But it is hard to do so because the last thing I saw the actor in he was a total villain.

Date: 2011-04-05 04:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] namastenancy.livejournal.com
Well, if it's any consolation - it gets worse. A lot worse. Wait until the final scene (give or take a two), when a crowd of extras surrounds Octavian and proclaims him the next ruler. Or something like that.

All that and not even a really good orgy in the whole show. But lots of brooding by Jonathan and he really looks fetching with that off the shoulder toga.

As I said, I am a slut. Give me beefcake and my standards just evaporate.

Date: 2011-04-05 04:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com


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