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[personal profile] lesbiassparrow
Did you know Caesar was magic? Even dead he doesn't decompose! Or get smelly! Or have flies buzzing around. Also he sacrificed his ENTIRE LIFE for Rome. Poor man: forced into being a sole ruler when all he probably wanted to do was grow cabbages and write on them like Cato the Elder. (Cato had a perfect fetish for cabbages and wrote at lenght about their marvellous curative properties. You'd probably have a leg cut off and he'd be trying to wrap it up in cabbage leaves.)

ETA: Cicero as action man! He's come to the rescue of Octavian! Oooh, Cassius is threatening Cicero. But Cicero is giving as good as he gets. Even when he is threatened with death. Cassius tells him he is a mouth that flaps. Better men than you have said that and regretted it.

ETA 2: I am amused that Tyrannus and Octavian fled for days only to...end up in Rome. I know all roads led there, but this is ridiculous.

ETA 3: Well, the guy who plays Antony does good crazy eyes. Really good ones. The mob has gone crazy! They're about to burn Caesar in the Forum. At least it's better than using the senate house, which served for Clodius Pulcher's pyre. It is a pretty sad pyre though. Mainly twigs and one cart and about 2 foot high.

ETA 3: Hey! Cicero is in the temple of Vesta. THE GODS WILL BE FURIOUS. The last man in there - who was in there to rescue sacred objects when it went on fire - went blind as a result. THERE ARE NOW COMBAT DUNGEONS. WHERE THEY TRAIN GLADIATORS. Apparently only 1 in a 100 survive. That's worse odds of survival than for eunuchs. Which, by the way, were the most expensive slaves you could get because the survival rate was so low.

ETa 4: RAPAX LIVES UP TO HIS NAME. HE HAS SMASHED HIS WAY INTO THE HOUSE OF THE VESTALS. THERE IS SHRIEKING.

ETA 5: So T+O are off to General Magonius. And in about 2 seconds they have been taken prisoner as slaves. HOW HE WILL SUFFER. Rapax is back causing trouble at the temple of Vesta because...well he is EVIL. Like the Senate. The key is in the name.

ETA 6: I can imagine them plotting this out. Scene 57. The combat dungeons. The sweet-smelling Octavian is thought to be a male whore. He must learn how to be a slave and stop smelling so nice. Etc. Etc.
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lesbiassparrow

August 2011

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