Jun. 21st, 2011 08:27 pm
lesbiassparrow: (Default)
[personal profile] lesbiassparrow
So I am watching this masterpiece of modern cinema, which I thought have the poor man's Josh Holloway and Ali Lautner in it. Imagine my horror when I realized that, yes, that wa the man himself trying to looking terrified by a CGI creation that wouldn't scare a baby rabbit. He also signal led strong emotion by head-scratching, which was an original move.

OMG IT ALSO HAS JONATHON RHYS-MYERS! That man must share an agent with Sean Bean.

ETA The sabretooth just ran off with a girl while Holloway looked on and scratched his head with deep emotion. It was very moving. Also there is some crazy hunter guy who has showed up.

ETA 2 Rhys-Myers just got eaten, which seems a bit greedy on the part of the animal, given that it just ate a lovely young woman. At this rate it will be tubby by the end of the film and it will be no bother to catch (I like to look on the positive side of these things).

ETA3 Bye-bye guy who thought he would fight a sabretooth with a knife. Ambitious, but foolish.

ETA4 It's not often I say this, but having a person dressed up in a sabretooth outfit would have better than this CGI. and just how much does one of these things eat, anyway? This one seems to have eaten 3 people in the space of an hour.

ETA5 So finally I have found a film worse than that one with Sean Bean and the zombies and the giant sloths. That's...something.

Date: 2011-06-22 06:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Truly, you are a treasure.

Date: 2011-06-23 05:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
What would you do without me? You'd have to watch these delights for yourself!

Date: 2011-06-23 08:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Without you and Nutmeg, I'd be so deprived of knowledge of such cinematic masterpieces!

Date: 2011-06-22 10:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
There's a movie with Sean Bean and zombies and giant sloths?

Why didn't I know about this?

Date: 2011-06-23 05:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
It is sadly less exciting than you'd think. The two main characters are surpassingly horrible and annoying. I wish I could remember what it was called...but, trust me, my bad memory is saving you from horrors.

There were also cavemen. Annoying, irritating cavemen.

Date: 2011-06-22 04:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Did the crazy hunter guy have crazy eyes? That's basically the only thing I care to know about concerning this movie.

I applaud you for being able to find a movie even worse than the Sean Bean/zombies/giant sloths. Your next goal is to find something even worse than this movie.

Date: 2011-06-23 05:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Sadly, no! Many perfect opportunities for crazy eyes were missed without even a twitch of the eyes. SUCH A WASTE.

Date: 2011-06-22 08:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I remember this movie! I saw it on Skiffy ages ago. Man, it's bad.

Date: 2011-06-23 05:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
It's a thing of pure horror. It made me sad for everyone involved. Including the person they paid 50p to to do the CGI.

Date: 2011-06-23 01:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I saw this! And of course I loved it for being so incredibly godawful. It's light years worse than Bean and the sloths, because at least that had Bean.

Date: 2011-06-23 05:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
They should have just got Sean Bean as well. I am sure he had an ex-wife he needed to pay for something.


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