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A whopping 3 hrs and 40 minutes long: Linky to this horrifying story.

Why? No one wanted the first two versions. One thing this film did prove, though, is the danger of listening to your historical advisor too closely; I think the film is problematic because it tries to somehow cling to the sources and cut out most of the romance (cutting of the Gordian know, the son of Zeus stuff, etc.) in some misguided attempt to be the sort of film classicists approve of. And while those are accurate battle scenes they're not terribly interesting to watch. Kathleen Coleman should be praising Ridley Scott for not listening to her on Gladiator; the result is an entertaining film and not a turgid pile of rubbish.

Personally, I blame Robin Lane Fox, like I do for many things.
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When Oliver Stone is bad, he's very, very bad. Case in point: Alexander. What with Alexander being a world-conquering, alcoholic megalomaniac who slept with many, many people, you would think it wouldn't be possible to make a boring film about him. And you'd be wrong. 

So many things wrong with this film even on the apparently new and improved DVD version (which looks remarkably the same as the one released in cinemas).  I have many questions, but these will have to do for now:

1. Why is Alexander's mum from Transylvania?  Maybe it's the only accent that Jolie can do, but still.

2. Why would anyone follow this man to Persia? I wouldn't follow him 10 feet to the nearest pub even if he was buying.

3. Why is  Alexander's skirt shorter than everyone else's?

4. Why does Oliver Stone hate women?  (There's a lot of 'women suck your life essence' in this film. Of course, that's not helped by the fact that Jolie is channeling Dracula most of the time.)

5. Why does Alexander's mum sometimes have snakes dangling from her and then suddenly magically not?  Where are they going?

Personally, I blame Robin Lane Fox


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August 2011

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