2. This matters because summer is over and school has begun once more
3. Someone nearly killed me as I was crossing the road. And I mean nearly killed: a car ran through a stop sign at about 50 miles an hour (in a 30 zone), honked me. If I hadn't leapt back and landed on my rear it'd be a dead person typing this now as it passed within 2 inches. Did it stop? Of course not; just kept on going on its merry way. Feckers.
And meyerlemon is hosting a shameful things you would like in fic anonymous thing. I just admitted that I wanted something that sounds like a crossover of The Office with North and South (the BBC Gaskell one). Please go over there and insist you want something even worse or I will die of the shame: Meme of fic shame here