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Inspired by rumblings over JK Rowling's choice of 'ships in the latest Potter book, I announce a new fan campaign. Why should we stop with demanding the ship of our choice in books written by living authors? That's for those who want to take the easy route. I'm not going to be defeated by death!

So I plan on hiring a medium (well, maybe it will just be me and a ouija board) to contact deceased authors and demand they write the 'ships that I want.

The campaign will include (but is not limited to) contacting the following authors who didn't do what I wanted totally screwed up their destined lovers. I will demand they end their novels with the following people riding off into the sunset of passion and shagging (not necessarily in that order):

1. Jane Austen: Fanny Price and Henry Crawford in Mansfield Park
2. Louisa May Alcott: Jo and Laurie in Little Women
3. Samuel Richardson: Clarissa Harlowe and Lovelace in Clarissa

I will take other suggestions, including Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley in Pride and Prejudice (You know they were totally doing the love that dare not speak its name until that cow Elizabeth came along and ruined things) or any other pairing that people feel like mentioning.

*Weeps* Won't anyone think of the classic fictional lovers...

Feel free to promote my totally insane brilliant idea! It's all about the fans, baby.

Edited because I totally forgot about Tess and that guy in Tess of the D'Ubervilles. Way to screw that one up, Thomas Hardy.

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lesbiassparrow

August 2011

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