In which I recycle an old post: shipping from beyond the grave!

[lesbiassparrow]

A while back I wrote this while inspired by massive internet meltdown over JK Rowling's choice of 'ships in Harry Potter 6: The One Where She Disappointed Fans Who Ship Harry and Hermione. And inspired by misscam's reports on CSI fandom and the shipper implosion there, I decided to revive it.  Because somehow that made sense in my head.

Without further ado

I announce a new shamelessly recycled fan campaign. Why should we stop with demanding the ship of our choice in books written by living authors? That's for those who want to take the easy route. I'm not going to be defeated by death!

So I plan on hiring a medium (well, maybe it will just be me and a ouija board) to contact deceased authors and demand they write the 'ships that I want.

The campaign will include (but is not limited to) contacting the following authors who didn't do what I wanted totally screwed up their destined lovers. I will demand they end their novels with the following people riding off into the sunset of passion and shagging (not necessarily in that order):

1. Jane Austen: Fanny Price and Henry Crawford in Mansfield Park
2. Louisa May Alcott: Jo and Laurie in Little Women
3. Samuel Richardson: Clarissa Harlowe and Lovelace in Clarissa 
4. Tess and that guy in Tess of the D'Ubervilles. Way to screw that one up, Thomas Hardy.

I will take other suggestions, including Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley in Pride and Prejudice (You know they were totally doing the love that dare not speak its name until that cow Elizabeth came along and ruined things) or any other pairing that people feel like mentioning.

*Weeps* Won't anyone think of the classic fictional lovers?*

Feel free to promote my totally insane brilliant idea! It's all about the fans, baby.

*This also applies to cancelled TV series.  Disappointed Spike and Buffy didn't get together and have babies in the end?  We can summon up the spirits of the past and get the writers to change history.

Comments

[jonquil.livejournal.com]

> Last of the Mohicans

No, don't. Go reread Twain's "The Literary Sins of Fenimore Cooper". It's much better.

The movie, however... oh, God, Daniel Day-Lewis running through the forest, wig streaming, wearing a loincloth. And both the villain and the title Last of The guy are hotties. And there's this scene with DDL and the heroine by firelight up against a wall... wibble.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

Go reread Twain's "The Literary Sins of Fenimore Cooper". It's much better.

Thanks for the rec. And for saving me from Last of the Mohicans being one of the books I was planning on taking on holiday with me.

[jonquil.livejournal.com]

One of the great critical essays of all time.

http://users.telerama.com/~joseph/cooper/cooper.html

By the time Twain is through, Fenimore Cooper is not only flayed and boned, but ground, made into sausage, and tossed on the rubbish heap.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I'm not even through the first paragraphs and it's hilarious. Thank you!