Northern Lights

[lesbiassparrow]

I am watching this Nora Roberts adaptation about a cop who moves north to FORGET. The way you do (Alaska and Northern Canada must be filled with men trying to FORGET and stumbling around in manpain.) So, I don't think I'd supposed to but I'm rooting for Cop to sleep with the Mother instead of the Daughter (played by LeAnn Rimes). Especially as her first conversational gambit with Cop is that her mother has no values and is A WHORE.

ETA: I should totally have gone for the one with Emile Ravin as the Hostage Negotiator. This is just awful. I just want to kick annoying Daughter-Love Interest.

ETA: "MY EVIDENCE IS MY GUT." And there are about 50 million quirky, resentful locals. Plus I still hate Daughter.

ETA 2: This has got to have been the worst book ever. You will never convince me otherwise.

ETA 3: Also, in news that will surprise no one, LeAnn Rimes is a terrible, terrible actress. She plays grief-stricken and angry as petulant sex-kitten. Unappealing petulant sex-kitten.

ETA 4: Sometimes cheese is just bad cheese and it gets stinky and repellent. This was that sort of cheese. I didn't even make it half way through even though I think there's a bear attack later on.

Comments

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

This entry made me snort a great deal.
manpain. hee.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

This is (sadly) very inferior manpain. Most disappointing.

[lage-nom-ai.livejournal.com]

Aw man, the bear is the best part!

Did you at least get to the LET'S HEAL EACH OTHER WITH PETULANT SEX bit?

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I got that far and then Angry Daughter started shouting at her mum or something and all I could think was how much I hated her. She did nothing but smirk and be angry and I could not see what Cop Who Has Come To FORGET saw in her.

[anonymous_sibyl]

It was awful! The Emile Ravin one is much better.

Her older movies--Montana Sky and Carolina Moon are pretty bad. Montana Sky has the edge in being nearly unwatchable. They compressed the plot down so much that by the end a couple who had few scenes together was getting married.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I have high hopes of the Emile Ravin one, but I feel none of them can match the glorious, cheesy magnificence of Midnight Bayou.

[wistfulmemory.livejournal.com]

Are you able to fast forward through the movie to get to the bear attack? Hopefully, the other one's better...

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

It wasn't even worth ffing through, sadly. Not even for the bear attack.

[wistfulmemory.livejournal.com]

That's just sad.

[nolivingman.livejournal.com]

Why are there so many Hostage Negotiators in bad movies? I really don't think the world has that many of them. Also I saw one on TV once and he was a middle-aged bald guy and not a former star of the WB.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

It is a little know fact that if you leave Hostage Negotiators alone for even a minute they breed like rabbits, happily populating bad TV movies with careless abandon.

[ancarett]

Maybe the bear attacks the daughter and the cop and mom live happily ever after?

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

If there had even been a remote chance of that happening I would have kept watching. But all the signs were that Daughter was the True Love and Mum was just doomed to be alone without Cop Who Has Come North to FORGET.

[queenthesixth.livejournal.com]

You know, you're absolutely right. For some reason, Alaska/Canada is the place to go to get over past events. You'd think they'd fire up the internet and try and find somewhere super cheerful where there'd be so much going on, they'd be too busy to remember their own names, much less any past events.

My cousin bought Northern Lights for my mother a few Christmases ago. It's sitting upstairs on the bookshelf, I don't think either of us have read it.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I think that Alaska/Canada means that you get to wallow in your suffering. You go up there and build a log cabin with your own bare hands and lie around in drunken pain and regret all day. Probably builds lots of character.

(I am wondering if the girl was less annoying in the book of Northern Lights. In this there was no apparent reason beyond a possible desire to punish himself forever that cop would be attracted. Even the mum was better looking.)