How is it even possible to make a film this bad?

[lesbiassparrow]

Last night a friend came over for a bad movie night. We started with GI Joe,* followed with Showgirls and ended with Clash of the Titans. Complete with alternate ending courtesy of my new Blu-ray player. There were many themed drinks and I woke with something of a hangover, but that's not the point of this post.

OMFG, SHOWGIRLS. I had seen it once and clearly my brain just couldn't believe something could be that terrible because it had (perhaps mercifully) blurred the memory of its sheer awfulness. Even with most terrible films there is something where you can see that what they might have aiming at was decent or there's at least ONE scene where you don't roar with laughter at the stupidity of it all. But EVERY FUCKING SCENE IN SHOWGIRLS IS TERRIBLE. How is that even possible? How can there not be one moment that you think, well, this isn't painful to watch.



*Mini-ninjas are still awesome. Spark of genius.

Comments

[wistfulmemory.livejournal.com]

I still need to see GI Joe just to watch Lee Byung Hun. What are these mini-ninjas you speak of? Oh, and what is the alternate ending for Clash of the Titans? *am now attempting to remember the original ending*

Here's a hilarious two-part review of Showgirls: http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thedudette/nostalgia-chick/19133-showgirls-begins and http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thedudette/nostalgia-chick/19901-showgirls-the-revenge

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

That is hilarious. 'Everybody got aids. And shit.' Great lines, great lines.

In the Clash of the Titans: ending they did use, Perseus goes up to Olympus, acts all pouty and then snarls a bit at Zeus. There is sword waving and a 'wait until the sequel' moment. No extra Kraken, though.

And mini-ninjas are the youthful versions of the older ninjas who clearly know how to nurse a grudge. THEY ARE AWESOME.

[jo-lasalle.livejournal.com]

Showgirls is genius. Trufax. Nothing else has ever come close.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

Showgirls is...something. Not sure what, but you certainly don't forget it it in a hurry.

[brainchild129.livejournal.com]

Even better is seeing the TV edit of Showgirls that VH1 used to show sometimes. Not only did you have awkward MS Paint bras added to many scenes, they had to edit so much around the boobs and sex and whatnot that the movie becomes downright surrealist.

It is still fucking hiliarious though, even in that form.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

*boggles at the very thought of MS paint bras*

[chelseagirl47.livejournal.com]

I have never seen Showgirls but what it always brings to mind is the ads for one of the Scream movies:

"What's your favorite scary movie?" asks the psychotic killer, via cell phone
"Showgirls. Absolutely terrifying," comes the victim-to-be's response.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

Showgirls is even less than you think a movie can be. Which is remarkable in its own way.

(You should watch it. It sets the standard for all bad movies. And it sets that standard very low.)

[aikakone.livejournal.com]

My favorite movie podcasters (from Birmingham, England) recently did a Showgirls episode. You may enjoy their wonderful snark. It's a long show, maybe longer than the movie... not sure, I really like these guys. I compared them to Gene Hunt of Life on Mars because on the surface they are everything wrong, but together they are everything right.

Anyhow, link: Chinstroker Vs. Punter: Episode 110 Showgirls

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I shall listen to that! (Though I do feel that this film just generates its own hilarity even without trying for it.)