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lesbiassparrowThis might have been a good movie if:
1. It had been about an hour shorter. Seriously? You made a movie about a giant blue guy and his issues that ran to what felt like 15 hours but what my watch assured me was around 3? I KNOW THERE WERE OTHER THINGS BUT MAINLY ALL I REMEMBER IS THE ENORMOUS BLUE GUY. WITH HIS ENORMOUS TACKLE.
2. Giant blue guy had talked faster. His entire backstory wouldn't have taken FOREVER if he hadn't talked like this: So...yeah...in...the...past....I...totally...did...things...and...then...I...did...some...other...things...and...etc . Also, I did not actually feel the need to find out everyone's back story. Don't be afraid to leave some mystery!
3. A better script. I don't know if they used lines from the comic or not, but whatever they did it wasn't good. Though, fair enough, they did share the bad writing amongst all the cast.
4. Less of enormous blue schlong. I appreciate that you are probably telling me something important about giant blue guy's lack of human values, but I got it by the third time it wandered into view.
5. One ending. You know, everything in a narrative does not have to be resolved. You can leave some loose ends. It's not Lord of the Rings and I don't actually have to see people sail off to the west just to be happy.
6. Been vastly less self-important. I've seen less self-important Tolstoy adaptations.
And maybe it's just me, but I'm tired of the way that all cities look the same in superhero films. It's like there's one giant ur-city that they're pulling from and now whenever a character turns down a dark alley it will always look the same and have the same thugs and the same dumpster and even the same puddles of water.
Regarding the misogyny and politics, I have mixed feelings. I go into these films pretty much expecting what I got here, so I was't surprised (which is depressing when I think about it). In fact, I don't really think it was that much different from The Dark Knight in that respect. And it might even have been a bit better than Sin City.
1. It had been about an hour shorter. Seriously? You made a movie about a giant blue guy and his issues that ran to what felt like 15 hours but what my watch assured me was around 3? I KNOW THERE WERE OTHER THINGS BUT MAINLY ALL I REMEMBER IS THE ENORMOUS BLUE GUY. WITH HIS ENORMOUS TACKLE.
2. Giant blue guy had talked faster. His entire backstory wouldn't have taken FOREVER if he hadn't talked like this: So...yeah...in...the...past....I...totally...did...things...and...then...I...did...some...other...things...and...etc . Also, I did not actually feel the need to find out everyone's back story. Don't be afraid to leave some mystery!
3. A better script. I don't know if they used lines from the comic or not, but whatever they did it wasn't good. Though, fair enough, they did share the bad writing amongst all the cast.
4. Less of enormous blue schlong. I appreciate that you are probably telling me something important about giant blue guy's lack of human values, but I got it by the third time it wandered into view.
5. One ending. You know, everything in a narrative does not have to be resolved. You can leave some loose ends. It's not Lord of the Rings and I don't actually have to see people sail off to the west just to be happy.
6. Been vastly less self-important. I've seen less self-important Tolstoy adaptations.
And maybe it's just me, but I'm tired of the way that all cities look the same in superhero films. It's like there's one giant ur-city that they're pulling from and now whenever a character turns down a dark alley it will always look the same and have the same thugs and the same dumpster and even the same puddles of water.
Regarding the misogyny and politics, I have mixed feelings. I go into these films pretty much expecting what I got here, so I was't surprised (which is depressing when I think about it). In fact, I don't really think it was that much different from The Dark Knight in that respect. And it might even have been a bit better than Sin City.
