lesbiassparrow | Entries tagged with stargate

I apologize in advance for this but I can feel it coming and I won't be able to stop myself no matter how much I usually roll my eyes at people who do this exact same thing. But I am going to watch each and every episode of the 5th season of Atlantis and hate every episode and moan endlessly about it. And then write long posts where I wish people would consign McKay to some lower circle of Hell from which he would never rise again. Or I'd settle for someone punching him in the face and being celebrated for it in song and story.

I'm sorry and if it helps you feel better, know that you cannot possibly despise me more for doing this any more than I do myself. If you know of any help for this compulsion to watch this show please feel free to recommend it. GOD PLEASE SEND HELP.

So, I was going just to post about how after I sort of embraced the dumbness of the decisions make in the Atlantis universe and enjoyed a batch of episodes the writers made me loathe McKay and that new doctor lady with the last episode of season 4 (well, with McKay I just loathed him more). But I thought that before I ranted about that I would post a picspam of the season two episode 'The Long Goodbye,' because I really loved that one. In this episode Elizabeth Weir, due to the Stargate Atlantis' team usual brilliant thinking, not only gets possessed by an alien entity but manages to convince them to allow Sheppard to be possessed also. And then she tries to kill him. *sigh* It is a beautiful thing to watch.

( Many pictures of Elizabeth pwning everyone )

Now let me vent my spleen about the last episode of season 4.

( I have never hated two people more than McKay and that new Doctor in this episode. )

This is the way my shipping goes on the Western TVs: I develop a ship and then the show immediately destroys it. Finally, I was all about Ronon/Elizabeth and then, quite literally, boom! Bastards.

But then I had a huge revelation about this show and what keeps me watching. And I realized that I am gripped because clearly the writers have decided that what they should do is write a show about a bunch of people making a set of quite terrible decisions over and over and over again and then terrible things occur and Ronon/Teyla/(sometimes)Elizabeth say 'maybe you shouldn't have done that!' but no one listens at all and then they wait for a bit and do much the same thing again. (Seriously, I think the writers essentially get together and say 'hey, what's the dumbest thing these people or the Earthbound ones could do? Why don't we do that next? That should get the last remaining 20% of the galaxy that's not mad with them yet plenty angry.')

It's like watching goldfish. Not every bright goldfish, mind you, but they're mainly very pretty and get some good lines in. And I will now watch the rest of the show waiting with excitement for the next deadly enemy they will provoke into attacking them by some thoroughly dumb decision.

The only downside is still can't stand McKay and he now seems to be about 80% of the show.

To: Stargate Command

From: Stargate Atlantis Mission

1. If there are Evil Space Vampires around be sure to wake them all up. It must be all of them, mind you: waking up a few or even 50% won't have the same effect at all. Maybe go around poking the ones that look like they might be still sleepy with a sharp stick just to be sure.

2. Once you've woken them up be as smug as possible about. Never admit that your initial decision might have been a bad one. This will impress the natives. And if it doesn't, well who cares?

3. Don't ever listen to any advice from the natives. Everyone knows that a few beads and mirrors will buy them and keep them happy. And it's much more fun to cause havoc everywhere you go than to avoid trouble in the first place.

4. Bring Rodney McKay on every mission. (My fourth Ph.D. was on 'ways to be offensive to all living beings!' -RMcK)

5. If you encounter a race of replicating machine things be sure to make an agreement with the nice one, then double cross him, and blow up his people up.

6. Turn the Evil Space Vampires back into humans and then feed them to the remaining Evil Space Vampires. And expect them to be grateful.

7. Be sure to leave no person offended on every planet you visit. Then, once you've offended them, ensure the Evil Space Vampires show up and kill almost everyone. Not everyone, though: that way you can ensure that the few remaining survivors can go around pissing more people off with you on their behalf.

8. Assume that it is your right to rule the galaxy that you've shown up in and gotten half the population killed off in because you naturally know better than everyone. (see also #3 on not listing to native advice.)

9. Try poking things/people/bombs with sticks everywhere you go. When this is objected to, call them ungrateful: if your actions haven't annoyed them, then this will.

10. Betray as many people as you can. Call it being 'rational' and be smug about it. Never apologize. That is a fatal error because people might forgive you.

Love and kisses,

Dr. R. McKay and Colonel J. Sheppard

I just watched the episode where Weir and Sheppard were possessed by alien beings and then Weir pwned everyone and tried to kill Sheppard and IT WAS EXCELLENT. She should do this every episode. Well, she could alternate it with trying to kill McKay. That would be a great show.

Wow, I was warned about how bad it would be when Ford left Stargate: the one with EVIL SPACE VAMPIRES but I didn't believe it. So...nobody thought that it might seem a little, er, racist, when you turned your only African-American main character into a drug addict and pusher? No? Righty-then.

But I still cannot stop watching. It's a sickness, I tell you, a sickness. That and I rather love the EVIL SPACE VAMPIRES.

BTW, does Teyla ever get an episode? I liked the one where her and Ronon were off doing their thing, while the others did something else with spaceships. Well, anyway the Ronan-Teyla show was much more interesting that the other one.

ETA: And for that open source breast fondling thing - I can't really believe people who still say 'oh! it was just some lovely hippie utopian thing that was terribly misunderstood! You just don't get alternate space, man!' Because that's reasoning that's too stupid to reply to.

Have you ever watched something that you know is not good, that frequently makes you want to smack most of the main characters at least once per episode, but still you can't stop watching?

Such is my horrified and fascinated reaction to watching season one of Stargate:~~the white man's burden~~Atlantis. The main plot of this show is fighting EVIL SPACE VAMPIRES whom our intrepid heroes wake by accident while doing something they shouldn't! The male lead is a maverick who always know better than his female boss! His female boss decides that interviewing people (whose culture and lifestyle your crew accidentally have destroyed) in a friendly way means locking them in their quarters first then having two of you throw hostile questions at them! Because clearly that's going to get them to want to tell you things. For supposedly smart people they do an endless amount of stupid things most of which I am apparently supposed to applaud because a) they leave no one behind (thus waking the EVIL SPACE VAMPIRES) and b) they value human life.

It's like they sent all of the people most likely to cause harm in our galaxy to another one to ensure that they couldn't blow things up here.* At least now I know whom the ancestors of the people on Star Trek: Voyager are.

And still I find myself compulsively wondering what fresh havoc they will wreck in every new episode. And madly shipping everyone with everyone else on an episode by episode basis. Except for Sheppard/McKay. I think Sheppard would shoot him within 10 minutes.

SEND HELP. STOP. CANNOT STOP WATCHING. STOP. PLEASE. STOP.

* Honourable exception: Lt. Ford. I bet they kill him, the bastards.

I've been watching Stargate Atlantis (the one where they're underwater. Or I think they're underwater but bits of the city aren't? Or they're totally above water but surrounded by it? I don't actually know. But there's water and a city and spaceships. Plus aliens that eat people). I am so ashamed (so many reasons for this, but mainly it's because the show is not very good but I will always watch it when it's on) but I have started to ship Sheppard and Teyla. Apparently, this is the wrong thing to do because apparently he and the annoying scientist guy, McKay, are having it off non-stop according to fandom. AND AFTER MY HORRIFIC ENCOUNTER WITH THE FLOWERY PROSE OF STARGATE: THE ORIGINAL SHOW SLASH FANFICTION I FEAR WHAT IT MIGHT BE LIKE. Some of it is probably great, but given how awe-inspiringly purple the prose of the O'Neill/Daniel* stuff was I refuse to read it.

* It's not the slash I mind, it's turning two adult men into 14 year old teenagers who probably write depressed poetry in their diaries before taking emo pictures of themselves for their facebook that is objectionable. Even worse when people rec it as being 'totally in character.' HOW??? HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE SHOW????

ETA! Oh and also in completely random stuff:
1. I watched Doctor Who. I hope Donna slaps Ten in the next episode because that never gets old.

2. Hong Gong Dil is awesome. I love them all and expect emo prince to expire from his melancholy soon.

Today I came home and fell asleep at 7.30 and then woke up lying on my bed, still fully dressed at 11.30. What the hell? Now it's 1.30 in the morning and I can't sleep. I am thinking of blaming Eliot Spitzer. In fact, I may blame him for everything from now on as it will probably make me feel tons better. And I think I will only read about puppies and Korean soaps for the next while. And if they disappoint me there will be crying and wailing and gnashing of teeth and possible internet withdrawal for a while.

Anyhow! I've been wondering about starting to watch Stargate. I've seen a fair few episodes recently but all from different seasons. The problem is: 10 seasons? That's a pretty big time commitment and I actually don't usually finish TV series if there's more than 4 seasons to catch up on. I barely got to the end of Babylon 5 - and I only made it through because of my deep Delenn love. (And Susan. But, woes, she was gone at the end! And replaced with the Scoggins abomination.) I never finished Farscape. So I think the odds of me getting through 10 seasons of anything are pretty low. Is there are particularly good season* that I could watch? Or could I start in one of the later seasons?

*And by particularly good I mean 'with lots of Carter.'

ETA: I've gotten really bad about keeping up with people's birthdays. But Happy Birthday to

nutmeg3!

I am thinking of buying a digital camera. I used to have one but it has vanished like the snows of spring somewhere never to be found again. And, besides, it was a cheap one bought in Italy after the old one was stolen in Rome by wicked thieves with no honour. Does anyone have any recommendations? I don't need anything too sophisticated. In fact, simple and idiot proof is really ideal.

And bonus part of post: favourite scene so far of Bad Love is eyebrows keeling over in a coffee shop and writhing in agony for a minute before the hero notices anything is amiss behind him. Apparently Eyebrows has a tumor! It's like Stained Glass all over again but I suspect he won't walk into the sea in this one. Hopefully that means that the hero and heroine also won't have to feel all guilty for ten years before they get together.

ETA: Evil wife is drinking wine from the bottle because hero and heroine have gotten back together and now she is wailing at him about it and saying that the heroine ruined her life. Get a grip, woman! You ruined your life because you're a hideous bint with no sense of boundaries or limits. I wish someone would clonk her on the head and put her out of her giant haired misery.

ETA: Oh! I've been watching the Stargate series (the original not the Atlantis one) on Space (Canadian SciFi equivalent). It's strange because all I ever see are random episodes so I don't have much of a sense of any storylines. But I have questions!

a) Is Daniel the one all the alien babes fall in love with? Doesn't he have a dead wife or something? Shouldn't he be off being emo about her and not jumping alien babes?
b) Why don't people fall in love with Carter? She's cute and competent and people should be in love with her.
c) Do they actually have a reason for jumping through gates or do they just do this because they can? Or are they really scoping out new locations for McDonald's franchises?
d) Why did McGyver get replaced with Farscape people?
e) Why isn't everyone in love with Carter? I will keep asking this because I feel they should be.
f) Is Teal'c ever not stoic?

I'm watching Stargate Atlantis preparatory to watching BSG second time around (rotten social committments) and I don't get the appeal. It's probably not fair to judge from one viewing (though I've seen snippets at other points) but compared to the original Stargate it does seem to have some issues with acting. People give each other highly meaningful glances and not much more. It's like they only have one mode: the highly meaningful moment o'doom, otherwise it's nada, zilch, nothing and shots of machinery. Did I just get a bad episode? If I'm going to invest in SciFi Friday I'd like to watch more of the shows they offer, but this didn't seem very interesting or even well-acted. At least the other Stargate gets actors who overcome the sometimes very cheesy scripts they are asked to mouth.

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Stargate Atlantis