lesbiassparrow

Because people ~~want to~~ must know who the saddest spies are:

1. Jason Bourne, Wuxia Hero

2. Lucas Shaw, Spooks: The Spy with the Manly Prison Tattoos of Anguish

3. Tom Quinn (see below)

Clearly, spying = life of misery and ruining the lives of women who love you.

Being The Tragic Story of the Third Saddest Spy in the History of the World

By A Lady

This is Tom Quinn. A man of constant anguish and spypain. He suffers for Queen! and Country! And I suspect to entertain terrorists the world over, who like to strike at pivotal moments in his life just to ensure he will never have a moment's happiness. It's not an easy life being the Third Saddest Spy in the History of the World.

( Enter his wretched world. Not at all dial up or slow connection friendly. )

I should absolutely not be spending my Sunday on this. I should be doing things that will get me tenure, but this is so much more interesting. And important. THESE THINGS MUST BE DECIDED AND RANKED.

( Bourne, Bond, Tom Quinn and Lucas North. Whose manpain will win? )

There are few things that I enjoy as much as fine quality manpain. Sometimes one is deceived and what seems like it will be good manpain just turns out to lower grade and unsatisfying emo, but I feel that in Lucas North, possessor of many Manly Tattoos of Anguish from Russian Jails, I have not been led astray. And to convince you all of its glories, I bring you a picspam of some of his many moment of agony from season seven of Spooks.

(I should say that I don't think Spooks is really a very good show, but it does showcase manpain (and womanpain) quite well. Plus teeth-clenching. There really is a tremendous amount of teeth-clenching. It probably has something to do with all the double agents.)

( A picspam of manly anguish. And some womanly anguish. Not many real spoilers )

I had to spend all day working (and still have stuff to do, pah!), but it has all been made magically better by watching Jason Bourne's thrilling, tragic manpain on the telly. Even though I have seen much manpain (a great deal of it of the screaming and shrieking variety thanks to kdrama) none gives me as much pleasure as Bourne's. It's so stoic and immobile and Matt Damon has presumably been told that if he smiles - even a bit - then bits of the world will fall right off, causing horrific death and destruction all because of HIM.

So. Good. I did this picspam a while ago to celebrate it.

WHY IS THERE NOT MORE FIC CELEBRATING HIS PAIN? I am very disappointed that so many of the fics are about him and Nicky and not more about him building his cabin in the Canadian wilds so he can spend the rest of his life thinking about Marie and his Tragic Loss.

ETA! How could I have forgotten to mention this,

calixa's video ode to the Bourne Manpain:

calixa wrote comment fic on Jason Bourne's life in his cabin: Go. Read. And demand a sequel.

I am deeply disturbed by how much better I feel that 'Time of Dog and Wolf' got once they started beating the living daylights out of the hero at least once an episode. I refuse to interrogate what this says about me but I am sure it is nothing good. (And the hero getting beat up is not a spoiler because I feel this is the sort of show where they will whack the living daylights out of him on regular basis because they can.)

And to prove it's not just physical pain I admire, I must confess that 'Silence' also got even better* once the hero found out that not only did he have little time to live because of liver cancer but that the heroine did not remember that they were childhood loves. Oh, the angst! And the shots of the hero looking attractively agonized as he dwelt on his unrequited love!

I am saving 'Coffee Prince,' a touching story of cross dressing and, er, coffee to cheer myself up after I have finished 'Silence.'

I AM NOT PROUD ABOUT ANY OF THIS.

*And by better I mean even more likely to rip my heart out.

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Entries tagged with manpain

The Saddest Spies in the World

The Miserable Life of Tom Quinn, Spy.

Spy manpain: who has it worse?

Spooks. The Lucas North Manpain Show

Bourne Supremacy

Please send help: I find manpain unnervingly attractive

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August 2011

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