Clash of the Titans: A Staggering Work of Genius

[lesbiassparrow]

From start to end this film is only rivaled by GI Joe for the sheer amount of joy it gave me; IF THERE WAS ORIGINALLY A DIFFERENT CONCEPT IT CLEARLY COULD ONLY BE INFERIOR. I know that from now on whenever I teach Perseus I am going to say 'Right, this is different from the movie BUT THE MYTH WOULD TOTALLY BE BETTER IF THERE WERE GIANT SCORPIONS AND PEOPLE SAYING 'RELEASE THE KRACKEN.'



Favourite things:

1. Zeus' shiny suit. I did wonder if Olympus ever had casual day when he could take it off and slip into something that would clank and shine less, but maybe Zeus isn't really a casual wear sort of guy
2. THE SCORPION RIDE OF INCREDIBLE SLOWNESS INTO MORDOR. Clearly the Greeks knew one did not simply walk into Mordor: one must ride scorpions there. V. slowly (seriously: at that speed I was surprised Andromeda wasn't Kracken food by the time they got back)
3. Fiennes' Hades: Part Dumbledore, part Uriah Heep, all WTF. And he had flying monkeys. They were awesome, especially when Perseus knocked one out of the sky and all the townspeople were beating it. Greek myth needs more flying monkeys
4. RELEASING THE KRACKEN.
5. The giant temple of Athena in the underworld. Does she have some sort of time-share with Hades?
6. Wondering how awkward it would be if the god Io turned down and got cursed by was Zeus.
7. EASING THE STORM: no wonder Io wasn't keen - it was in the world's most unerotic spot in Charon's boat, on top of coins given by the dead to cross the river Styx.
8. RELEASING THE KRACKEN. (Though if there was one thing that I really wanted and didn't get, it was a Kracken vs. giant scorpion fight.)
9. Acrisius' dying words being advice to Perseus. I guess that's one way to make up for killing his mum, Io and trying to kill him.
10. The floating platforms of the gods. I was only disappointed that they didn't actually zoom around on them.

IN SHORT: THIS IS THE GREATEST FILM EVER. THE ONLY TRAGIC THING IS THAT I WILL HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE DVD RELEASE AND THE DIRECTOR'S COMMENTARY BECAUSE IT IS GOING TO RIVAL THAT OF DRIVEN FOR THE AMOUNT OF HANDWAVING HE WILL HAVE TO DO.

Comments

[vwlphb.livejournal.com]

I was on the fence about seeing this, but I floved GI Joe (and couldn't get anyone to go see its brilliance with me, woe), so I will definitely be checking it out if it is as much of a cheesy bad good time.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I never thought that anything - anything - would replace GI Joe in my heart for its amazing cheesy delights, but Clash of the Titans managed to do so. Without even having a mini-ninja fight!

I so hope they make a sequel.

[aikakone.livejournal.com]

I loved GI Joe, too! But I was a fan of the cartoon as a kid, and nothing was going to keep me away from the movie. I was determined to have a good time, and I did.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

GI Joe was a wondrous film. It had mini-ninjas!

[queenthesixth.livejournal.com]

They are only showing this here in 3D and as I've heard the 3D isn't much cop, not to mention more expensive, I'm going to wait until it comes out on DVD. I think it might be just the ticket when a person can get high on diet coke and chocolate and snark loudly without fear of being thrown out of the cinema!

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

The 3D is okay, though it does make baby Perseus look like the baby that only a blind mother could love. But I watched it part of the time without the 3D glasses and it was better. BUT STILL I MUST SAY THAT NO ONE SHOULD PUT OFF WATCHING THIS FILM. IT IS QUITE BEAUTIFUL.

[koalathebear.livejournal.com]

The 3D is okay, though it does make baby Perseus look like the baby that only a blind mother could love.
Thank you for making me choke on the remnants of my coffee. I could have died! :D

[lage-nom-ai.livejournal.com]

As someone who named GI Joe possibly her second-favorite movie of last summer, I am now so stoked to see this! This review just made my morning. :D

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

As I said, I thought nothing would ever replace GI Joe in my heart, but, lo, Clash of the Titans came along...

You must see this! THE KRAKEN, IT IS RELEASED.

[morwen_peredhil]

Better than G.I. Joe? I WILL BELIEVE IT WHEN I SEE IT. So clearly I need to see this film for very serious research purposes.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I know! How can they make something better than GI Joe? Impossible, you cry! BUT IT MANAGES THIS FEAT.

[nutmeg3.livejournal.com]

I'm going to have to see it, huh?

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

Everyone should see this. I feel it should also be mandatory viewing in schools, hospitals, etc. across the world. IT IS THAT AMAZING.

[kirpunz.livejournal.com]

Hooray someone else who appreciates it! I went with 4 others, 3 of which thought the movie was terrible and not awesomely bad, and 1 was just happy that Bubo had a cameo.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I cannot tell you how much it saddens me that there are people out there who are immune to the amazing marvel this film is. If they were not caught by the charms of releasing the kracken, surely they relished the easing of the storm?

[raffaella.livejournal.com]

IT ALSO HAD MAD MIKKELSEN. Why don't you mention the best thing about this film? That's very important. There are action films (okay, fine, King Arthur) that I enjoy solely to see him deadpan his way through the action (and presumably make lots of money before he returns to make better films in Denmark.) Also, I spent the film saying "Kill him! Just fucking stab Perseus and don't return to Argos", but he didn't listen to me. He was still hot.

That said, it was a MASTERPIECE about a dumbass who gets lotsa people killed because he's a dumbas, but somehow, they inexplicably follow him. (Sam Worthington, I'm starting to see a pattern).

It also gave me much joy in the form of Anthony Lane's review, particularly this :"He is the strapping Australian lad who, without warning, has found himself cast as a cyborg, in “Terminator Salvation,” as a would-be alien, in “Avatar,” and now as the demigod Perseus, in “Clash of the Titans,” while retaining the look of someone who cheerfully expects to be returning to a steady job on a building site."

[namastenancy.livejournal.com]

ROFLOL!

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

Perseus was v. stupid. But I didn't mind it so much as most Greek heroes would probably have had issues out-thinking a plank, frequently resulting in the death of all around them. And he was sort of splendid in his dumbness, I felt. Like a particularly uncharismatic rock.

That review is hilarious - I shall have to google for the rest of it.

[raffaella.livejournal.com]

It's in the New Yorker:

http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/cinema/2010/04/12/100412crci_cinema_lane

It's in the New Yorker. I love Anthony Lane. He's a perfect mixture of serious critic and ruthless mocker. I just wish he reviewed every week (he alternates with David Denby). His review of Kickass in the latest issue -- deadly serious, because he was honestly revolted by the moral implications of having children do certain things -- made me feel extremely uneasy.