I am not the hugest Trollope fan (though I loved Barchester Towers) because a lot of his philosophy really isn't mine, but I do think he has a point. Obsessive love (as glorified in Bollywood) can mean the person is very passionate. It can also mean he is unbalanced. I think dramas like Bali or Hanadan (or Bollywood movies or even novels like Jane Eyre) present in a safe (because you are not in it) environment the desire that a lot of people have to be loved so utterly and completely that the person would self-destruct for you, that nothing exists for them. Like a lot of things that are great in fiction, it would be damn exhausting in real life.
I think that is the appeal of a Domyouji or Jae-Min or whoever: they might be poorly socialized and self-absorbed, but they are going to utterly give themselves to love. But of course, I think a really healthy person wouldn't be this way because you wouldn't be the only thing in their life worth living for.
When I was talking about integration into the norm, I was actually referincing a somewhat personal experience. I was rather self-absorbed before Mr. Mousie. I was well adjusted and all, but I wasn't particularly interested in what other people wanted or anything. Being with him and caring for him, actually made me care for other people as well. And there is the fact that when we first met, Mr. Mousie was...well...he wasn't a Domyouji or Jae-Min (thank the Lord) but I think more like Rui prior to Shizuka and after seven years together, both of us are pretty normal and I've gotten him so laid-back his family comments on the difference. I don't really want to go into more details as it's not my stuff to tell, but I do think that being with another person in a healthy environment can do wonders.
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Date: 2007-06-15 11:25 pm (UTC)I think that is the appeal of a Domyouji or Jae-Min or whoever: they might be poorly socialized and self-absorbed, but they are going to utterly give themselves to love. But of course, I think a really healthy person wouldn't be this way because you wouldn't be the only thing in their life worth living for.
When I was talking about integration into the norm, I was actually referincing a somewhat personal experience. I was rather self-absorbed before Mr. Mousie. I was well adjusted and all, but I wasn't particularly interested in what other people wanted or anything. Being with him and caring for him, actually made me care for other people as well. And there is the fact that when we first met, Mr. Mousie was...well...he wasn't a Domyouji or Jae-Min (thank the Lord) but I think more like Rui prior to Shizuka and after seven years together, both of us are pretty normal and I've gotten him so laid-back his family comments on the difference. I don't really want to go into more details as it's not my stuff to tell, but I do think that being with another person in a healthy environment can do wonders.