Television: I only watch rubbish

[lesbiassparrow]

dangermousie just did a post on things that don't interest her in TV at all no matter how good they might be and also asked the question of "why must people have the prerequisite of their hobby/show whatever being 'awesome quality' before admitting their liking for it?"

Now, I think I have pretty conclusively proven that I pretty much enjoy only rubbish. If you write me a love triangle, an evil parent, toss in a terminal illness and some blindness, I will watch your Korean drama till the very end no matter what plot absurdities you toss at me. In fact, I may be the only person watching Lost who thinks the Kate/Jack/Sawyer love triangle is the best thing about the show. If they added Sayid into that mix I might die of happiness. Thus, clearly, I have no moral high ground and never will. It is not possible to even dream of moral high ground when you have viewed the full melodramatic excesses of Stairway to Heaven of one's own free will. I will never, ever judge you for anything you watch because I lost the right to when I sat agape at its piano playing on the beach finale.

One thing that always astonishes me are those people who think that they've scored some giant moral point by telling you that they don't have a TV. Fair enough, if you don't want to have a TV I'm not going to smite you or run in horror. But I am not going to worship you as being some marvellous human being either. I didn't own a TV for a year and I can't tell you the amount of unadulterated crap I read - I may well have read my way through the entirety of the 'evil Mormon' genre of Westerns. I certainly read some horrific detective novels and other Westerns many of which were worse than any TV I have ever seen. And even if you spend your time reading Proust (and none of them ever have) I refuse to admit that you are necessarily a better person. You've just read more Proust than other people, that's all.

My usual strategy so I don't get trapped into endless ego-stroking conversations with these sorts of people is to say that I feel that all the good writers are in TV now so novels are probably getting all the ones who couldn't hack it there. If this doesn't appall them enough, I tell them the plot of Stairway to Heaven. In detail. Not one fact is omitted - not the creepy quasi-incestual love, not the car crash that caused eye cancer, not even Crazy Eyes. And then I tell them that my dream is that one day I'll encounter a Korean drama that is even more cracktastic and brush away a tear at the sheer impossibility of that ever happening.

Comments

[calixa.livejournal.com]

I don't need quality. I just need some talking deer!

[calixa.livejournal.com]

And obviously quality means nothing to me either as I willingly read some of the worst manga known to mankind BECAUSE I know it's going to be bad.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

You take that back! Vampire Secretary is a modern classic!

[calixa.livejournal.com]

This is true. Don't forget Harem Lodge. And that one with the girl who coughed up blood after her father tried to marry her off to her childhood friend by blackmailing her with nekkid photos from when she was 4.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

All classic works that go sadly unappreciated. I bet in 200 years people are writing long academic books about their brilliance and mourning our lack of taste.

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

You two are doing this to make me cry, aren't you?

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

An even more terrifying thought is that we are drawn to them irresistibly. Like moths to a flame.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

You know what would be perfect? If the talking deer turned out to be vampires who also fought crime.

[calixa.livejournal.com]

That would be indeed perfection.

I haven't even told you the deer's backstory yet. It's really amazing.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

They have a backstory??? After Bad Love I am so watching this one.

[calixa.livejournal.com]

It will break your 'only watch crap' steak though. I have discovered that Deer Man actually has literary merit: the novel it's based on is award-winning (!)

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

Then I will be able to lift my head once more!

[roatan.livejournal.com]

Worse than people who don't own a TV are people who own one but only claim to watch PBS or the educational channels. A former roommate once told me he only watched Nova, which, whatever, I know he never missed even the auditions on American Idol.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I'd forgotten about them - they're a special category of wankers. It's like people who only go to foreign films and documentaries at the cinema when you totally know they saw X-Men.

[morwen_peredhil]

I may be the only person watching Lost who thinks the Kate/Jack/Sawyer love triangle is the best thing about the show.

Oh, no you're not!

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

*clings*

Everyone keeps going on about how boring it is but I loves it, yesss, I does.

[escap1974.livejournal.com]

Hee. You need Stuff White People Like. Not having a TV is somewhere around number 30. That kind of cheese is EXACTLY what I love.

I don't need things to be awesome, but I'm happy when it turns out that way. Like Sarah Connor... I expected that to be pure cheese and sci-fi fun. But it turned out to be good, dammit! And on top of that, it made me want to have sex with Brian Austin Green! How likely is it that would have ever happened otherwise? Yeah. See?

[morwen_peredhil]

OMG ICON! I need to make a Derek shower scene icon of my very own.

[escap1974.livejournal.com]

Heh. I made this one super quick, but feel free to take it if you want.

[calixa.livejournal.com]

That blog is great!

[escap1974.livejournal.com]

Isn't it? I have no idea why people do things like that... but as long as I'm entertained by it, it's all good.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

That blog is hilarious.

I am always vaguely astonished when something I like is considered good by other people. You are not the first person I've seen say eerie things about Brian Austen Green in this. Hmmm. Maybe I should watch.

[escap1974.livejournal.com]

I love, love that blog.

I know, right! I mean, weren't we the only two people to ever watch Tarzan? That was pure shit, but I LOVED it.

You should definitely watch T:SCC. I loved the Terminator movies, but this is fabulous. And BAG? Rocking my socks off. Thomas Dekker? Who knew the boy could act that well? He was Claires friend on Heroes... he has a pop-like album coming out! He should be the joke to end all jokes! But no. It's a good show. I was heartbroken that it wasn't cheesetastic, but now that it's pretty people on a good show, I think I'll get over it. Get thee online and watch! (Although, BAG doesn't show until ep 4 or so?)

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

Wasn't there someone else who also watched Tarzan? That makes 3 entire people, unless that was a sockpuppet of one of us.

[escap1974.livejournal.com]

I don't remember. If there were a sockpuppet, I'm sure it wasn't me. :::glares at you:::

Heh. Like with the ratings it got, it even mattered.

I wonder if I can watch that online?

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I, um, have it on DVD. I bought it and am deeply ashamed because it is even worse than I remember. I wonder if I can upload it? I could probably make you a copy if you really need to see Travis Fimmel once more...

[escap1974.livejournal.com]

I found them all on youtube and I'm totally going to download them to my computer.

How can it possibly be worse than I remember it?

[nutmeg3.livejournal.com]

Do people not understand that the word "cheesetastic" exists for a reason? I mean, I love quality in my cheese entertainment media, but really all I ask is to be entertained. And I am very easily amused (one of my few good better qualities, actually), so Mansquito and Night of the Lepus do just fine. I mean, it can't all be Jericho and T:SCC, and I'd probably be cranky if it was.

Also, I totally get her point about there being things you just aren't interested in no matter how well done. It took vampires to make me care about a show about high school. Don't even try to make me care about, um, whatever hot non-vampire high school show people are watching. And I think The Gilmore Girls shat purple poo. So there, fans of The Gilmore Girls. (I need to stop sounding like Craig Ferguson in my head.)

Edited because I can't type and Mansquiro is not a movie.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

Masquito is one of the great cinematic achievements of SciFi along with that one about the Nazi werewolves. I only wish that more people appreciated their glories. God, I love the one about the Nazi werewolves.

I also agree totally with her on there being things that you just aren't interested in despite them being amazing. It's like war movies with only men in them: I don't care how good it is, I just know I don't want to see it. As for the Gilmore Girls...yeah, I never quite got what that show was about and have no interest in finding out.

[nutmeg3.livejournal.com]

<< Masquito is one of the great cinematic achievements of SciFi >>

I knew I loved you for a reason! And...Nazi werewolves?! Awesome! That must predate my SciFi-bad-movie obsession, but they repeat everything eventually, so I'll watch for it.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

It's called 'Horrors of War' and you will marvel at its supreme cheesiness. How can you go wrong with Nazi werewolves?

[nutmeg3.livejournal.com]

Just the other night they reshowed the one about the Nazis bringing gargoyles to life through blood sacrifice, so wouldn't you think they could have paired it with Horrors of War? Someone in Programming was clearly asleep at the controls.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I've never seen that one. In fact, I've never even heard of it. How on earth could I have missed such a wonder?

[nutmeg3.livejournal.com]

It's wonderfully awful. I think it's called Reign of the Gargoyles, and it has every war-movie cliche you can think of, plus the guy who plays Stanley on Jericho. And gargoyles. What's not to love?

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I can't believe how lucky I am to be living in a time when not only can I see a film about Nazi werewolves but also one about Nazi gargoyles. Truly, this is a golden age.

[nutmeg3.livejournal.com]

And yet so many people remain unaware of that fact. It is a puzzlement, is it not?

[sassachusetts.livejournal.com]

the 'evil Mormon' genre of Westerns

...I would like more information on this topic.

Have you watched Golden Bride? I'm about a quarter of the way through (it seems like it goes on for a million episodes) and I kind of love it. It seems like something you might enjoy, although it's certainly no Stairway to Heaven.

P.S. In the spirit of your post, I feel like I should admit that I'm watching Degrassi High as I type this.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

There's an entire slew of these, apparently all inspired by the same vitriolic late 19th century book (it's the one that inspired The Study in Scarlet. The most notable and famous is Riders of the Purple Sage by Zane Grey.

I have never seen Golden Bride. I must check it out. I wonder if jdramas has it?

[sassachusetts.livejournal.com]

It's pretty great. I've been watching on hoomie and I think crunchyroll. The male lead has some sort of epilepsy, or a wasting disease, or possibly both, it's hard to tell sometimes, that he got from getting beaten by some security guards after he tried to force himself on -- and by force himself on, I mean kiss -- his girlfriend, who is now engaged to the son of his mother's MORTAL ENEMY, a crazy lady who stole her boyfriend back in the day. Epilepsy/TB is apparently very shameful in Korea and nobody will marry you or hire you if you have it, so his mom signs him up for an adorable-but-beleagured Vietnamese mail-order bride. Hijinks ensue.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

Man! Fits! And Mortal Enemies! Crazy Lady! It all sounds so marvellous and yummy. I am astonished I've never even heard of this.

[sassachusetts.livejournal.com]

Definitely check it out! It's packed full of that vague dramatic angst where everyone looks extremely worried but they don't say why, and the heroine is too cute for words

[scottishlass.livejournal.com]

rotflmao ... Word, baby, Word!!

Seriusly though, what is and what is not cracktastic these days is in the eye of the beholder and those holier than thou have their secret obsessions as well ... hopefully ... somewhere ... :D

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I feel that watching crack has prepared me fully for a world of possibilities I had not imagined. And also I can now apologize profusely in Korean. How is this not valuable! Without a TV I would never have learned these things.

[alexandral.livejournal.com]

I trailed through quite a lot of Proust in my younger days (too much time on hand!) but I don't remember a thing.

I think the division of "good fiction"/"bad fiction" is silly. There are things that you personally like , that is all. I like a bit of both..

And not having a TV - are they in a cult? :D

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

And not having a TV - are they in a cult?

I always want to ask them this! The worst was the one who told me that his family sat around and wrote poetry together so they didn't feel the need for a TV as it would only destroy their intellectual time! I bet those kids had fun in school...

[oxymoron67.livejournal.com]

As far as Proust goes, I've read him, and while There are passages that are amazing reads, they are linked by some scarily boring crap. His letters are far more entertaining. (I worked in an archive devoted to Proust in grad school).

I totally agree with you about quality snobbery. I did it when I was younger, then I realized that I was being kind of hypocritical. I mean, I love me some Torchwood, and that's not exactly high quality.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

When I was first in college I was very much 'oh, I don't read that sort of stuff. And then I discovered that rubbish can be immense amounts of fun and I quite like it.

Besides, I have to read all of this hyperintellectual stuff for work. I don't really want to do so for fun as well.

[library-of-sex.livejournal.com]

I think it's absurd to believe that anyone who reads lots of books is more intelligent or moral than someone who spends a lot of time in front of a TV. I do both more than I should, and I'm no paragon of virtue either way. If someone reads nothing but trashy romance novels, how does that make them any better than someone who watches tons of soap operas? You're not using your brain very much doing either activity, that's for sure.

And yeah, not owning a TV doesn't make you a damn saint or some phenomenal human being. Knowing that someone doesn't watch any shows at all, however, makes me sad. People that don't watch TV and act like it's evil kinda sorta scare the hell outta me.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

Tush! Everyone knows reading is better than anything else. I like reading a lot, it's just that I don't think abandoning one form of entertainment/information for another makes you inherently better.

I very much like pitying people who don't have tvs because they expect you to applaud their amazing act of rejection of modern media and thus do not know what to do with the pity. And then I talk about crap Korean dramas and they are conflicted because on the one hand they're foreign and thus must be better but on the other hand I clearly only watch the terrible ones.