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You know what makes me happy? Sholay, the evergreen classic jewel of Bollywood, that's what. And while people have told me of this wonder for a long, long time, teasing me with mentions of dancing on glass to save one's true love and massive amounts of Hoyay THEY SOMEHOW FAILED TO MENTION THE ARMLESS MAN. How could you miss this bit! He is simply the greatest role that Indian cinema has ever written.

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Sholay is the story of two simple, good-hearted thieves who like to travel on trains while handcuffed to each other. This increases their deep but manly love for each other while also impressing police officers.



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See? That police office looks impressed. Or angry. Maybe he senses that he will end up with no arms later.

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Then they trundle through the Indian countryside singing merrily on their bike. After this bit they climb onto each other and press their manly thighs around each others' necks. I am very sorry I don't have a picture of that bit because the internets let me down. But they sing merrily of their friendship as they do so.

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They are hired by the impressed police officer (who arrested them once back in the day). He has a MYSTERIOUS AND TRAGIC past and wants them to bring some bandit to him. What this past is is revealed in one of the greatest scenes in all of cinema history.

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There's a girl too. She has a horse. Later she has to dance on glass to save her True Love.

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There's some wooing of her by the actor that unleashed the next generation of Deols on us. Despite his role in this great film I am not sure I can forgive him for that.

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But this! MAN, THIS IS WHERE THE MAN WITH NO ARMS IS REVEALED. The thieves are annoyed because he stood there when he could have been helping them fight the bandit and his men. Then as they berate him his blanket blows away and we find out THAT HE HAS NO ARMS.

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Before we find out why he has no arms we have a flashback featuring this kid. Yep, he gets killed along with all of the Man With No Arms' family by the bandit.

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He is upset, as any sensible person would be.

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Then he makes the fatal error of attacking the bandit.

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But he is captured and the bandit, not being a forgiving type, chops off his arms. BOTH OF THEM.

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Here's that scene again in black and white so you can appreciate it. Spurred on by this tale the thieves go and do much manly fighting. And some gypsy camp gets blown up, Helen dances, and The Girl has to dance on glass to save one of the thieves.

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Naturally it all ends in tragic death scenes.

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No! Their love it is no more.

Then in a scene of such greatness that I can barely describe it, the Man With No Arms has his servant make him nailed shoes and then goes and kung-fus the bandit. I cannot properly express the pleasure I got from seeing him sail through the air and pummel the bandit.

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Look! The nailed shoes! THE MOMENT OF JUSTICE! IT DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS, MY FRIENDS.

Then the bandit dies, other things happen and the surviving thief leaves with The Girl leaving the Man With No Arms in triumph.

Date: 2008-09-11 04:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
Actually in the handcuffed bit they'd been arrested. But they seem to like it a lot.

The sidecar/motorbike scenes were brilliant. They climbed on each other! And it wasn't stuntmen but the actors climbing and cavorting on the bike; in 70s Bollywood you had to be tough.

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