Vampires, get off my lawn!

[lesbiassparrow]

Is there some sort of new internet law that every time someone mentions a vampire film/book/theme park/whatever horrific contribution to vampire fetishes someone is coming up with next, they have to say 'Forget Twilight'? And then they go on to describe things that if you read Twilight there is no chance that you'd be interested in?

And much as I think Twilight is filled with the WTFness of the first degree, most of the other stuff that is touted as amazing and entirely the way vampires should be depicted sounds almost equally dreadful. And, sadly, more boring (say what you like about Twilight it keeps me endlessly entertained). That may be because I am ready for vampires to be retired as a way to explore the human condition or whatever else people say they are exploring. Seriously, they're not that interesting: They eat people. They live forever or a really long time until some rightminded person comes along and stakes them. That's it, people. They're like human shaped, long-lived, man-eating lions. Who may or may not be able to go out in sunlight, depending on what crappy vampire novel they're in.

Also, introducing a more manly, killer vampire doesn't make your character necessarily better than Edward (though I will admit the odds are surely in your favour). It just makes him more manly and killer. That, in itself, is not inherently interesting and better.

Comments

[kalliopeia.livejournal.com]

Oh God I loved that book. Constantine was really interesting. The only thing that bugged me about that book was the main character's tendency to dwell on the philosophical implications of cinnamon buns every three paragraphs.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I didn't mind the baking. I did mind the insistence that I was never going to have cinnamon buns as good as hers which reach some Platonic ideal of bunness. It made me feel a) hungry and b) like there was no point of going out to buy buns because they would only be an inferior, shadowy sort.

[kalliopeia.livejournal.com]

It wasn't the baking, it was that she was always on about them. It was like "Oh for CRYING OUT LOUD you're thinking about fucking cinnamon buns again?! You're hanging out with a vampire that other vampires want to kill, isn't there something more relevant you could be pondering?"

[nutmeg3.livejournal.com]

Yes, me too. I got it the first time she told me she showed love by feeding the world, blah blah. But the overall world and the vampires were really cool. I wish she'd do a follow-up.