lesbiassparrow: (love is never wrong)
[personal profile] lesbiassparrow
OH MAN THIS WAS AMAZING! THE TOUCHING LOVE STORY OF A ROMAN OFFICER AND HIS BRITISH SLAVE AS THEY ENDURE THE WORLD'S WORST WEATHER IN SCOTLAND WHILE LOOKING FOR A LEGIONARY EAGLE.

Seriously, theirs was the gayest, gay love that I ever did see. The lighting even got soft as they looked longingly at each others lips amid the downpour that constantly beset Scotland. Mind you, they might have been forced into their love because apparently there were no women in Roman Britain. There were in non-Roman Scotland, but they were all grubby and related to people whose idea of a good time was to paint themselves in woad, get drunk and hit things with axes, so probably not very desirable. I did admire the people of Scotland's determination to wear as few clothes as possible while inhabiting the worst climate ever. You go, Scots! There is no flu that can fell you! Plus you have lots of lovely mud to wallow in and, according to this film, not much else. No horses. No sheep. I think there might have been one cow, but it looked like it was going into a decline.

PLEASE SOMEONE MAKE A SEQUEL WHERE THEIR ROMANCE CONTINUES! They could travel around rescuing eagles and being manly and apparently unkillable by hypothermia.

ETA: There's one scene where all the Celts are getting mad drunk before going off to do something related to initiation ritual or rolling around and pretending to be wolves, and they have them speaking Irish in the background (as well as subbed for the main speakers) and one man is asking another how many rooms a place has. WHILE THEY'RE SITTING IN THE MUD IN THIS ONE ROOMED CABIN IN A LAND THAT APPARENTLY VIEWS EXTRA ROOMS AS BEING OF THE DEVIL. I don't know why, but this was one of the highlights of the film for me. Always dreamers, those Celts! Keep trying, Mr. Woad Paint: one day you will have more than one room. One day... (But you know the person he was asking the question was going 'WTF? How many rooms do you think it has, given that we all live in bloody one room mud huts?')

Date: 2011-02-21 03:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nutmeg3.livejournal.com
Best movie review ever! I really want to see this now. Thank you. :-)

Date: 2011-02-21 06:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
The movie is something of beauty. The moment that DVD gets to $10, I'm there. I shall watch the soggy love of hero and his British sidekick and it will keep me warm on long winter nights.

Date: 2011-02-21 03:41 am (UTC)
ancarett: Somebody's feeling smug (BBT Smug Leonard Raj)
From: [personal profile] ancarett
ROFLMAOPIMP.

You win at movie reviews, my dear!

Date: 2011-02-21 06:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
This movie wins at making all lols easy - like shooting fish in a barrel.

Date: 2011-02-21 05:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dangermousie.livejournal.com
I laughed so hard I have tears in my eyes.

Date: 2011-02-21 06:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
The film will have that effect too. It's a work of genius.

Date: 2011-02-21 06:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] namastenancy.livejournal.com
So, 10 stars for the gay, no stars for fashion sense and how many stars for manly fortitude?

Date: 2011-02-21 06:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
There was so much manly fortitude of improbable recovery and heroism my head almost exploded.

Date: 2011-02-21 06:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lage-nom-ai.livejournal.com
AND DON'T FORGET THAT EVEN IN TORRENTIAL DOWNPOURS THAT LAST FOR WEEKS, YOU CAN STILL BUILD A GREAT RAGING FUNERAL PYRE.

I also love how they both magically got new horses along the way.

How was the Irish spoken?

Date: 2011-02-21 06:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
THE PYRE. THE PYRE. I loved how all the deserters had hung onto their armour too! I know I'd keep hold of a giant, heavy shield if I were running for my life!

(The Irish was hilarious. Mr Blue Guy That Killed His Kid was particularly fine in that regard.)

Date: 2011-02-21 06:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lage-nom-ai.livejournal.com
(Hilarious how? And how was Billy Elliott's Irish?)

I also loved the saddles--which were about 800 years too modern...

Date: 2011-03-06 03:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
Well BE's Irish was at least attempting an accent that wasn't just 'fuck it, let's go with the one I've got!'

Date: 2011-02-21 09:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fivil.livejournal.com
Me and a friend joked that we should go see it and then we never did, and neither did we go see a movie that might be good so that was kind of a waste all in all. I HAD NO IDEA I WAS MISSING OUT ON HEAVILY IMPLIED GAY. :(((((

Date: 2011-02-22 04:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
It is the single most homoerotic story of a Roman travelling with his English slave that will ever see the screen.

Date: 2011-02-21 03:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] calixa.livejournal.com
WOMAN HOW DO YOU FIND THESE THINGS!

ps. someone actually uploaded the entire seasons of that scary Beauty and the Beast show. I reacted with delight! and then HORROR. And downloaded the first episode but have not had the courage to watch it.

Date: 2011-02-22 04:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
It was relevant to my interests!

AND SOON YOU WILL BE MAKING B+B CRAFTS. THIS IS HOW IT STARTS.

Date: 2011-02-21 06:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sajia.livejournal.com
You almost make me want to watch this. Almost.

Date: 2011-02-22 04:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
You know you want to see it....

Date: 2011-02-21 11:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] astropoet.livejournal.com
oh you make me laff...

Date: 2011-02-22 04:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com
This movie made up for my crappy week. And it's set in Scotland! Your people!

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