The ideal Christian romance

[lesbiassparrow]

Surely there must be a giant market out there among Christian romance readers for nuns/holy women/Christians abducted by Vikings who then convert their abductors? You'd get it all: mad pagan violence, lots of barbarian chest heaving, the hand of God and so forth, and get to have a nice Christian marriage at the end.

Comments

[raffaella.livejournal.com]

What does it say about me that I was first very excited because I misread and thought the nun converted to paganism? I don't know, but "Fuck it Goshdarnit, I'm going heathen" is so much more interesting! With a former nun deciding that lust is amazing! Or is that too mediaeval Stockholm syndrom-y?

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I would much prefer the nun going 'yay! lots of gods! I'm going pagan' too, as it would be an interesting twist, but I suspect the Christian romance market might not like that. (Though I don't think they're too much concerned with Stockholm Syndrome.)

[namastenancy.livejournal.com]

This sure sounds like something I read when I was young and dumb(er). I can't remember the name but I'll bet if you search on some site dealing with romance novels, you will find dozens of books.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I've seen the Roman version of this one, where the virginal Christian girl gets the Roman to throw away his career and end up in the Colosseum, but not the Viking version. It seems like an obvious gap in the market. Especially after the movie of Thor.

[namastenancy.livejournal.com]

I suspect that even a trashy romance novelist knows that the Vikings were far to smart to throw away a MANLY pagan religion for some whimpy Christian god. But the Romans were rather different - how manly can a guy be if he wears a toga (long gown) or a tunic (short gown).
Of course, there was the army with all them swords but I think all the conversion novels I read involved neurotic Roman patricians. Who knew that it was so difficult to find a good virgin in Ancient Rome and that the price was so high?

[raincitygirl.livejournal.com]

Grinning here!

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I have always imagined that Christian virgins had accesss to some sort of magic scent in Rome. It would explain a lot.

[namastenancy.livejournal.com]

I am not sure what search terms to use "Christian romances with Vikings" brought up a lot of sappy romance sites and a couple of decent history ones. But this site, which reviews romance novels, is hilarious. If there is a book with your description, it's got to be reviewed here:

http://www.smartbitchestrashybooks.com/index.php

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

Aiee! The covers! And the cover on Amazon! Aparently you were not allowed to go sea as a Viking unless you were willing to wax and oil your chest first. And then stand in an unnatural pose.

[baleanoptera.livejournal.com]

IIRC there are quite a lot of those type of books here, though sadly they're all in Norwegian. But plenty of Irish holy women/young girls raised in Convents who are abducted and then converts Eirik/Harald/Bjorn whatever.

Though then again the Norwegian romance book marked is pure gold. The best of (worst of?) which is Margit Sandemo's epic The Legend of the Ice People, and makes everything from fanfic to romance novels seem pale by comparison. And which happens to be the most read books in Norway, next to the Bible. Lol!

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

Jesus. 47 volumes???? Is there an ice person who doesn't get a book? I must admit that I am strangely fascinated by these and would buy them if they had vikings.

(And I am glad the Norwegians are happily keeping the Viking romance novel genre afloat.)

[nutmeg3.livejournal.com]

That's a hella lot of ice people! And I wish I had a forebear as interestingly named as Tengel the Evil. *g*