A Review of Marie Antoinette, the Coppola film, not the moronic queen

[lesbiassparrow]

I found this gem on IMDB after the front story said the film had been jeered at Cannes: 

"OK. Marie-Antoinette is not an historic film. It is about the loneliness of a young, spontaneous woman caught in the strict etiquette of a ruling class that died for refusing to relax. The barbarians had the last word in 1789. Now think of the monarchical republic of France today, and the Islamic barbarians in its midst biding their time... Some beautiful passages in Le Petit Trianon and Marie-Antoinette's farm. Sofia Coppola is great at conveying moods. Still, the film is just a little bit too long, and so slow at times. To my mind not as great as Virgin Suicides and Lost In Translation. Another thing: is the anachronism about the Garnier Opera in Paris really necessary? What is the point? Versailles has its own theater and the opera-ballets of the baroque era could be quite fabulous. And finally, most historians, I believe, agree that there is no historic evidence of Marie-Antoinette and Fürsten actually having been lovers."    

There is so much wrong with this review that my mind cannot handle it. So many issues in such a few lines, that it is really is quite impressive on some bloody insane level.  Usually I try not to jag myself against things that are sure to wound me deeply, but...okay, I have no excuse, because really you ought to stay well away from things that are sure to raise the blood pressure. Please make that point in comments if I say anything else about this film. 

Comments

[sucrelefey.livejournal.com]

I think the one paragraph got doubled.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

Thanks for pointing that out...I think this review might have broken my mind or something so I didn't notice!

[sucrelefey.livejournal.com]

Eh, it's late, your mind is still there, besides I've done worse booboos.

[k-julia.livejournal.com]

Now think of the monarchical republic of France today, and the Islamic barbarians in its midst biding their time...

WTF? Seriously?

And sure, if they'd all loosened their corsets and relaxed a little, everything would have been fine.

WTF?!

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I am not actually even sure what this comparison is supposed to mean. I think that the revolutionaries were the enemy within that just were mean to the pretty, pretty civilized people. And that France is apparently still a monarchy.

[jonquil.livejournal.com]

The would Comte de Paris would certainly claim that it is. I forget if there's still a Napoleonic pretender. (Yes! There is! Oh, joy!) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Napol%C3%A9on_Joseph_Charles_Paul_Bonaparte_the_2nd

[oldtownhooker.livejournal.com]

You know, I don't care if this movie was booed... the Cannes audience would boo at finger paintings in a retarded kindergarten class... I'm so there. I love Sofia's stuff.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I think the dresses will be very pretty.

However, as I am firmly of the opinion that Marie Antoinette was too stupid to live, I am not sure I could sit through a 2 hour apologia of her life no matter how well filmed.

[alexandral.livejournal.com]

I loved "Virgin Suicides" and "Lost in Translation", I think I will go and see the film if only for Sofia's sake...

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I like period dramas so I am tempted and this one looks sure to be pretty. But Marie Antoinette is one of those figures I never sympathise with and also do not get the appeal of so I am not sure I do really want to spend 2 hours watching her as a misunderstood teenager.

[queenofthorns.livejournal.com]

Hee! If it’s not a historical film, why, errm, set it in the eighteenth century and make it about Marie Antoinette in the first place?

(I mean, all that said, I am totally going to see it because I’m a sucker for the pretty clothes, but you know things can’t be good when the guy who plays Axel Fersen, the putative lovah, has as his only previous credits a career as a Calvin Klein underwear model.)

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I know; I'm torn between my love of pretty dresses and a complete lack of desire to see a film which spends hours telling me to feel sorry for Marie Antoinette. Also I believe there is rock music which makes it sound terrifying like 'A Knight's Tale.'

Whatever about the film, though, that review is so seriously messed up that it blows my mind. I don't even know where to start.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

That MA movie is so rubbing me the wrong way. Did she deserve to be beheaded? No. Most people don't. But I have very little sympathy for her and the French Aristocracy who really brought all of their woes on themselves. I know French Revolutonaries aren't as glam, but I'd much rather watch a movie about them. It's bound to be more interesting.

And a movie all about a poor misunderstood little rich girl enjoying herself in a crumbling country? Ugh.

Sorry, can't help but rant :)

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I know; I feel much the same way. It looks like it will be gorgeous but I can't see myself enjoying being prodded into thinking 'oh how sad it is that the lovely rich people had to die! Those nasty revolutionaries for getting all annoyed. The court only wanted to have fun' as I watch it.

I think one of their tags is 'the most misunderstood woman in history.' Because she was just naive and wanted play with the cows, presumably. There are presumably interesting stories you could film about the French revolution, but this doesn't sound like one of them.

[twilight-zen.livejournal.com]

Let that reviewer eat cake!

Yeah, I got nothing.

Marie Antoinette never interested me.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

The most interesting thing about her is how clueless she is as her husband's reign collapses about her and how well she dressed. Apart from that she doesn't do a lot for me either.