Feminist Rage. I has it

[lesbiassparrow]

Yes. Another post on 'Governor Humiliate your wife and children because you must have it off with prostitutes Spitzer'



Just a few things:

Firstly: I don't think prostitution is a victimless crime. And I think people who use them are scummy.

Secondly: If you use a prostitute/cheat on someone when you are married I feel that essentially what you are saying is that your urge to have sex is more important to you than the person you have supposedly committed to. Or, to put it another way, your personal pleasure overrides any other obligations you may have. Thus you are not someone I want running anything. Not even a hen house. Have the guts to dump someone and then have all the sex you like. You can say that it's all some repressive sexual curse bequeathed by the puritans...but, you know, I don't think that this has anything to do with that. I think it's about men despising women. Sorry, I do.

Thirdly: You are an utter wanker if you drag your humiliated spouse to a news conference so you can do damage control. I'd have more respect for Spitzer if he'd shown up said 'You know what? There's no way I would ask my wife to show up for this event because that's just wrong. I screwed up and I am going to stand up alone and just take it.'

Some of things people said about how this isn't a big deal here really piss me off: You can't expect men to not fuck other women when they're married!

And here's more rage: the smooter report does this funny story about that type of comedy that goes on the woes of men who dither about marrying because maybe there's something better out there and the problem with marriage is that people expect you to be faithful. Marriage! That's such a horrific thing!. (I actually think these are like romance novels for some guys, far more than action movies. Because, like they point out, there is always some ordinary looking guy paired with some amazingly gorgeous woman. And they still have doubts whereas most people would be down on their knees thanking god for this bounty.)

Or maybe not: here's a real life example of that kind of guy:
Pudgy guy, hot woman. Look at the way he writes about the woman he dumped and went back to! It's all entirely about how amazing looking she is and yet, he is forced somehow to keep looking in case there is something better. Why do people marry these types? I'd rather die alone and be eaten by my dogs/cats/ferrets/hamsters than have to deal with that everyday. And look at the picture! I don't like to mock people's looks but when you're as shallow as this guy you deserve it.

Comments

[oxymoronassoc.livejournal.com]

I thought that Modern Love was really retarded too. Like...come on. Also, know what I hated that people ~~~loved~~~ was that fucking editorial with Daria Werbowy and Seth Rogan. IT WAS OFFENSIVE, OKAY?

I am going back to looking at shoes at Nordstrom. THE PATENT LEATHER, IT WILL NOT SOOTHE THE RAGE, BUT IT WILL DISTRACT IT UNTIL I MUST RAGE AGAIN. OR STAB SOMEONE WITH THE HEEL OF SAID SHOE IN THE EYE/FACE/TESTICLES.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

The good thing about pointy shoes is that they can cause pain to the groin of other people. I just keep looking at the picture and thinking 'holy god. do you ever look at yourself in the mirror?' Because when you're that shallow you should judge yourself like that.

[meyerlemon.livejournal.com]

I accidentally heard Alan Dershowitz defending Spitzer on the way home tonight: it was one quick line about how he's sad that the guy did this, and 20 minutes about how dare we judge him, we are a bunch of hypocrites.

It makes me want to cry that as a culture we have now apparently decided that it's NOT OKAY to judge a man for repeatedly fucking hookers when he has a wife and three daughters.

This is just all SO anti-woman. This is about male power and what men want, and I'm starting to feel a lot like the sexual revolution did nothing but tell men that yes, they COULD have all the sex they wanted without the pesky bonds of fidelity and intimacy. Just keep fucking your way through the world's pussy, guys. No worries, your wife isn't a real woman anyway, no need to think of her feelings.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I just get incoherent with rage when people go on about how he really didn't do anything anyone else wouldn't and how this is natural for the successful man. RAGE. You know what - then if you think that then don't fucking get married and have kids and go screw everyone you like. Because then you'll still be a jerk but you won't be lying to someone else. Repeatedly.

If you think your personal desires are more important than anything else then you shouldn't be in charge of anything. Fucker.

[meyerlemon.livejournal.com]

Yeah, exactly! I think I said this to you in the other post, but it's like these men have this immense - STAGGERING - sense of entitlement, where they resent the mere idea of being restrained. So the idea of devastating your wife and your fucking daughters, man- who cares? You need to get off. How dare they tell you what to do.

[sucrelefey.livejournal.com]

I have slightly different relationship perspective but this one total asshole. My issue is his hypocrite politics preach one thing do another, self serving wanking and oh yes he paid to cheat on his partner. He didn't have the balls for real adultery so he purchased it.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

If you have an honest open relationship where everyone is okay with sleeping with other people then I don't have issues bcause presumably you are all getting to do it and okay with it. But this guy...he wanted the career and he wanted the wife but he also wanted hookers. And then to make his wife stand beside him as he faced the press! It's just disgusting to me.

[sucrelefey.livejournal.com]

To him it's about power and control his power over others and his control over his needs and wants.
Crap my semi colon is dead.

[raincitygirl.livejournal.com]

What you said. This entire thread.

Besides, I *know* people who are in open relationships. The most important rules they have seem to be honesty (i.e. not sneaking around and pretending you're working late when you're actually out screwing someone else) and safe sex. Eliot Spitzer: not in an open relationship. Eliot Spitzer: asshole.

Not to mention the fact that as a lawyer who deals with prosecuting criminal cases, he must surely be aware of the statistics. That beautiful, expensive Russian call girl may have in fact been brought to New York with the promise of a job as a nanny or similar, only to discover herself the slave of human traffickers. It happens. A lot. Not to mention the number of domestically-born sex workers who are under the control of violent pimps. Dude, put on your lawyer hat for a moment and understand that statistically speaking, if you have one sex transaction each with, say, five sex workers, odds are you've effectively raped at LEAST one of them. And I bet there've been more than five in his past.

And he has daughters. Ai yai yai yai yai.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

And he has daughters.

This is what totally baffles me. But then I figure people like this are able to divorce one sort of woman from the other and never think that this sort of thing has any relation on the way they live their life or how they are fine upstanding moral individuals.

[scottishlass.livejournal.com]

Thirdly: You are an utter wanker if you drag your humiliated spouse to a news conference so you can do damage control.

Yep, this way he makes it look like that she is at fault too. Look, here is my wife, who couldn't provide me with enough sex to keep me from straying ... that is so bullshit. He just wants a public absolution form his wife and humiliates her at the same time.
But I guess it is the sign of the times ... men/politicians do anything to advance further up the career ladder.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I know. Who would ask that of another person? It's not enough to do this but you make her show up as you face the public? And people are already out there saying 'oh if women gave their husbands what they needed, they wouldn't stray.'

[cbackson.livejournal.com]

By now, I'm so angry about this that all I can say is FUCK YOU, GOVERNOR SPITZER.

And I agree. You know what? Prostitution isn't a victimless crime. As an op-ed in today's NYT points out, the people who argue that prostitution is victimless are MOSTLY MEN. The empowered, happy sex workers you find on lj and writing columns for men's magazines are NOT A REPRESENTATIVE SAMPLE. Statistically, most prostitutes are victims of sexual abuse and incest. Many end up as prostitutes because they have no other options. It's NOT BECAUSE THEY JUST LOVE SEX SO MUCH. It's not a WAY OF SELF-EXPRESSION. It's exploitation.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

The whole 'well it's harming no one' rubbish about prostitution really annoys me. Do these people never read the news about the traffic in women? Or how most women end up in this profession?

GAH.

[chelseagirl47.livejournal.com]

*sigh* You know, he had a good record as attorney general. I was actually pleased to vote for him. *bleah*
We've been getting most of our coverage on NY1, which is a NYC-only cable news channel, so it's been pretty surface-y, and we've been turning the channel as soon as any commentary comes on for fear of hearing the sorts of things you're quoting and linking to.

As for links #2 and especially #3. Yup. That's why I didn't get married until I was 40, and to a younger man who was living elsewhere when we met. The men in New York are all wired to think there are infinite possibilities and that they not only deserve, but will get, the very best -- women who are way out of their leagues. And the culture here is such that they often do. And dump them looking for something better.

[chelseagirl47.livejournal.com]

Er, avoiding them because of the rage I knew they would cause, that is.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

It's not just a New York thing, sadly. Los Angeles men are always doing this too. And I never get the women who are okay with their date constantly scanning the room in case there is something better out there. And you hear these men talking about what sort of woman they want and you're 'What? Do you look in the mirror? Do you see who you are?'

Normally, I am not one for mocking how people look but when you yourself are basing your relationships on it, it's deserved.

[queenofthorns.livejournal.com]

The only, ONLY thing in your post that I would remotely disagree with is this:

You are an utter wanker if you drag your humiliated spouse to a news conference so you can do damage control

She could have said “no” - she isn't being paid by the hour :P (And I saw headlines this morning in NY that indicated she was urging him to stay on and not resign.) So I’m sure there are dynamics within the marriage that are at work here too (like, he was the rich one when they GOT married, apparently.) I feel like, perhaps as with Hillary Clinton, she put up with the quid because there’s some future quo she’s expecting.

That said, I would probably cut off the offending instrument if my husband decided to have sex with a prostitute (and not use a condom.) But I also trust him never to do that. And this biological imperative nonsense is pure b.s. - that's why we don't live in caves and cook our meat on open fires any more: because we've come a long civilized way. UGH!

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

She could have said “no”

This is very true. But I can't help wondering what sort of person even has the gumption to ask something like that. And how does that conversation go?

"Hey, honey, I'm about to go on telly saying how I slept with hookers? Wanna be there and look supportive?"

"..."

"Oh, don't be so repressed! It'll be fun! National TV coverage!"

"..."

"You know, this is why I went to hookers! You never want to do anything!"

[queenofthorns.livejournal.com]

Well, she's also very well-educated (Harvard Law School) and was a corporate attorney for Citibank before they were married - so I'm sure she has her own reasons for going there, because it's not like she doesn't eat if she doesn't toe the party line or whatever... She's quite capable of fending for herself (as was Hillary Clinton.) I don't know if you saw "State of Play" (the British miniseries) but the wronged wife in that (played by Polly Walker) has some really good commentary on why she stands by her husband in public (she totally reams him out in private and locks him out of his house, etc.) I guess I just don't share the entire "political animal" mindset in the first place, because there's no way, no how I'd be supporting my jackass husband in that situation. He'd be lucky if I didn't kick him repeatedly in sensitive places! I hope it's at least a HEFTY divorce settlement - his family is totally loaded!

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I agree with you: I don't get why women do the stand by your man routine unless they're just so blindsided by the whole event that they have no idea what else to do.

Everything about this story and the coverage fills me with anger of a deep, deep level.

And if my partner did this? I wouldn't be standing there in the background offering support. I'd be changing the locks and phoning lawyers.

[lage-nom-ai.livejournal.com]

I was talking to my mom about this, and I promised her that if I ever get married, I'll be the first wife you see at that damn news conference WHUPPING HER HUSBAND.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

It makes me sad that we never actually get to see this. How much better would the world be if only she'd chased him around the podium hitting him with a briefcase or something...

[lage-nom-ai.livejournal.com]

Can you imagine? The first wife who does that will be a HERO.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

But then there will be the people who say 'see! I bet that's why he strayed! She never tried to be sympathetic to his NEEDS.'*

*Food and housing are needs. $5000 an hour hookers do not, I feel, fall into that category.