10 ways to make enemies and offend people in the Pegasus Galaxy.

[lesbiassparrow]

To: Stargate Command

From: Stargate Atlantis Mission

1. If there are Evil Space Vampires around be sure to wake them all up. It must be all of them, mind you: waking up a few or even 50% won't have the same effect at all. Maybe go around poking the ones that look like they might be still sleepy with a sharp stick just to be sure.

2. Once you've woken them up be as smug as possible about. Never admit that your initial decision might have been a bad one. This will impress the natives. And if it doesn't, well who cares?

3. Don't ever listen to any advice from the natives. Everyone knows that a few beads and mirrors will buy them and keep them happy. And it's much more fun to cause havoc everywhere you go than to avoid trouble in the first place.

4. Bring Rodney McKay on every mission. (My fourth Ph.D. was on 'ways to be offensive to all living beings!' -RMcK)

5. If you encounter a race of replicating machine things be sure to make an agreement with the nice one, then double cross him, and blow up his people up.

6. Turn the Evil Space Vampires back into humans and then feed them to the remaining Evil Space Vampires. And expect them to be grateful.

7. Be sure to leave no person offended on every planet you visit. Then, once you've offended them, ensure the Evil Space Vampires show up and kill almost everyone. Not everyone, though: that way you can ensure that the few remaining survivors can go around pissing more people off with you on their behalf.

8. Assume that it is your right to rule the galaxy that you've shown up in and gotten half the population killed off in because you naturally know better than everyone. (see also #3 on not listing to native advice.)

9. Try poking things/people/bombs with sticks everywhere you go. When this is objected to, call them ungrateful: if your actions haven't annoyed them, then this will.

10. Betray as many people as you can. Call it being 'rational' and be smug about it. Never apologize. That is a fatal error because people might forgive you.

Love and kisses,

Dr. R. McKay and Colonel J. Sheppard

Comments

[tavella.livejournal.com]

I remain deeply, deeply happy that I have only ever seen one Atlantis episode and am totally uninterested in seeing more.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I've never watched so much of a show where I want to kick so many of the main characters. I just can't stop myself.

IT'S LIKE A SICKNESS.

[nutmeg3.livejournal.com]

Just showing you my icon to remind you what a really great scifi show is. *eg*

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

The funny thing is that I tried to watch Farscape and actually really like much of it but could never get over them killing off the blue priestess (my absolute favourite character) and then all of these new characters in later seasons, so I stopped watching it.

I think I would have been a lot more appreciative if I had seen this show first.

[koalathebear.livejournal.com]

Have you watched one where McKay blows up a solar system yet? That is probably the only episode of SGA that truly enraged me. I was soooooooooooo angry with him I ranted about it at my LJ. One of his own team members died because of him and yet his ego pushed him in and I was so angry that I almost forgot it was fiction :P

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I did see that one. I was a bit astonished that he bounced right back from it. I'm up to close to the end of season 3 now, which appears to be where Space (Canadian SciFi) is too.

McKay works as a character (the annoying smart one) in very limited doses for me but his role is getting bigger and bigger and then it's just annoying because there are endless scenes of him being a jerk and also being right so you can't even enjoy a smackdown. I've got to the point where if it's a McKay solo episode I just move onto the next one.

In all honesty, when they're acting as a team, even if a dumb one, I have fun watching the the show as one where pretty people run around fighting. And I really like the Wraith idea even if they seem conveniently easy to beat.

But it's got the Star Trek problem: the script insists they're always right even when they're quite obviously wrong.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I am reading your posts and enjoying them mightily. They are very pretty, aren't they?

[koalathebear.livejournal.com]

They're VERY pretty. I think I went into the show with extremely low expectations because the few episodes of SG-1 I didn't like at ALL so didn't expect to like SGA. For me, the funny quips get me through even when the show gets lame :D I also like most of the cast despite the fact that they drive me nuts soon.

Glad you were enjoying the posts. It's a good show for pic spams because there are so many pretty people and places. :D

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I like the cast as an entity but that some of them (well, mainly McKay) get on my nerves when they have solo episodes. I also now rather enjoy shrieking at them when they make yet another decision that will come to haunt them three episodes down the line.

I am not sure I will get over them crushing my Ronon/Weir ship, though. *sob*