(no subject)

[lesbiassparrow]

Oh my God, Australia. How can a film be this magnificently awful? And what accent is Kidman sporting?

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Only 10 minutes in and tears of laughter are running down my face.

ETA: Hugh Jackman had better start taking his shirt off soon is all I can say.

ETA 2: Aaaand he does.

ETA 3: Was the writer aiming for the worst written film of all time award? I do hope he was.

ETA 4: "This land has a strange power." Indeed. Indeed. GOD EVEN WITH MY ALMOST UNLIMITED APPETITE FOR CHEESY CRAP, I AM NOT SURE I CAN FINISH THIS.

ETA 5: "Drove! Drove! Drove the cattle to Darwin!" THE ACTING. OH GOD THE ACTING.

ETA 6: "Woman, do you know what you've done?" It is so hard to say what is worse: the writing or the acting. Both hurt my brain. And I am delighted to know that every single person is Australia is gnarly or eccentric. Or both.

ETA 7: Is that Faramir? Hellooo Faramir.

ETA 8: Why is Faramir so evil? This makes me sad.

ETA 9: You all know the rubbish I watch on a regular basis. It should then be a sign of how awful this film is that I had to turn it off in the middle out of a sense of shame for everyone involved. I will admit that I turned it back on 20 minutes later, but only with my finger firmly fixed on the ff button. Even Kidman's frocks cannot save this one. And she has lovely frocks.

Comments

[balcarin.livejournal.com]

Embarrassingly, she actually is Australian AND can do a legit British accent, so IDEK what the fuck was up with that shit.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I can't believe that everything about this film is not parody. Including her accent.

[morwen_peredhil]

Is there any reason for those of us who don't go for Hugh Jackman at all to watch this cinematic masterpiece?

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

No. Ten minutes in and apart from the sheer badness of it, I am basically watching because of Jackman. (Though I have been promised good costumes.)

[wistfulmemory.livejournal.com]

Hmm...I'm not sure you're supposed to be laughing that hard during this movie...

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

It's soooo bad. Everything about it is expensively dreadful.

[wistfulmemory.livejournal.com]

Isn't it also over 2 1/2 hours long? Good luck.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

This is what the ff button was made for. Thank god I never saw it in the cinema.

[elspethsheir.livejournal.com]

Heh. This viewing is so G.I. Joe looks glorious, isn't it.

I thought Australia was the one where Hugh Jackman wears really tight pants, too.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

After this G.I. Joe will look like a masterpiece. Anything would.

[sucrelefey.livejournal.com]

Are there films where he doesn't wear tight pants?

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

If there is it's a sad waste.

[elspethsheir.livejournal.com]

I now sort of feel that it's my duty to find out. Wait... did he wear tight pants in Paperback Hero? I may have to watch it again to confirm.

[sucrelefey.livejournal.com]

Research is a difficult undertaking.
Pssst, tight leather pants on the conquistador in The Fountain and wet jeans bathtub seduction to make up for the martial arts pajamas.

[lage-nom-ai.livejournal.com]

Oh, goody! This is next in my Netflix queue!

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

Make sure you have a lot of booze to hand. When even I cannot take the cheese something is horribly amiss.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I cannot wait for you to watch this film. For real. I think your head might explode.

[lage-nom-ai.livejournal.com]

I am now so excited!! Here's hoping I get ahead of schedule this week so I can burn THREE HOURS. I just dug up the whisky, and I think I'll be able to liveblog it as I go!

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

Weellll, it took me under an hour owing to judicious use of the ff button.

[dachelle.livejournal.com]

I liked it.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

Awww. I'm a bit surprised I didn't myself; it certainly was cheestastic enough.

[dachelle.livejournal.com]

I'm a big Baz Luhrmann fan and a big Nicole Kidman fan, though, so I'm probably a bit biased. I mean, it's not my favorite movie of all time, or even of last year, and I can see why people wouldn't like it, but...IDK. It just worked for me, even with the cheese.

[queenthesixth.livejournal.com]

Me too. I can see how outrageously melodramatic it can be at times and it does feel like a Baz Luhrman tried to cram enough for three films in there, but I just rolled with it and had the time of my life watching it.
And not only did I watch it in the cinema, but I have also rented it from Xtra-Vision to watch at home. And I plan to buy it when funds allow, hopefully on Blu-Ray but for that to happen, my dvd player has to conk out and so far it is being surprisingly robust.
So I say, embrace the melodrama, embrace the cheese!! Don't try to fight it! And let's all write a fan fic where Tom Quinn walks into the north sea and washes up in Australia where he uses his man pain to be the best cattle wrangler he can be!!

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I think for me it was that it was such self-conscious melodrama (because I dooo love melodrama). You could feel everyone thinking "NOW I MUST OVERACT BECAUSE THIS IS MELODRAMA!!!!"

And let's all write a fan fic where Tom Quinn walks into the north sea and washes up in Australia where he uses his man pain to be the best cattle wrangler he can be!!

I cannot tell you how much it saddens me that this fic does not yet exist. Tom Quinn would be an excellent manpained cattle wrangler.

[queenthesixth.livejournal.com]

Maybe Baz Lurhmann was unconciously channelling Douglas Sirk in the Australian desert.

[caerbannog.livejournal.com]

I really love Baz Luhrmann's films and I was so disappointed with this. It was so crazy awful and Faramir was a total douche.

[cill-ros.livejournal.com]

What a waste of Faramir.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

It was, I think, a criminal waste of a lot of people. And a good idea, too. I could see what he was going for..but it just didn't even work.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

But I have to say that his death was HILARIOUS. I was sad to see him be so evil, but it was almost worth it for that alone.

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

I have a few Australian friends who kind of had the same reaction. "wtf is this?

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

Yeah. WTF didn't really cover it.

[koalathebear.livejournal.com]

Bwahaha I feel the same way. As an Australian I was cringing a little and I had such high hopes because Baz did such a great job with Romeo & Juliette and Moulin Rouge but "Australia" was really bad. I didn't post about it as a bad moofie though because of many people on my LJ seemed to like it so much. The acting was baaaaaaaaaad and the scene where Kidman's making all these squeaking noises as the kangaroos were hopping through the desert just made me die a little on the inside :D

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

THE ACTING. I know these people can all act, but you'd never know it from this film. Who or what was Kidman trying to channel?

The kangaroo scene was the bit where I realized that ffing was the only way to save myself.