Empire: this stuff is really excellent

[lesbiassparrow]

For definitions of excellent that involve taking history and trampling all over it like an elephant over lilies.

First, the not-dead Octavian has been discovered. Tyrannus has decided he wants to die. In the arena. Mark Antony is now taunting him. Or possibly just wibbling. I can't decide. Rapax has turned up to snag the wayward vestal virgin; just in time, given that she and Octavian were making goggly eyes at each other and the virgin bit was tottering. And given that they buried devirginized vestals alive, that is a dangerous state for one of them to be in.

ETA: LOOK AT MY AWESOME ICON MADE BY THE AWESOME queenofthorns. Take heed. THE SACRED CHICKENS GET THEIR REVENGE. ALWAYS.

ETA 1: Tryannus in a moment of despair has gone over to Antony. So Octavian is down a vestal and a gladiator. And now Octavian is off asking for Cicero's help. He needs his voice! Cicero appears keener on gardening.

ETA 2: In an improbable event even for this improbable show, Cicero, Agrippa and Octavian have been captured by Caesar's legendary lost legion. Which apparently wants to cut off Octavian's head because he decimated their legion. So they vanished into the mist. THE MISTS OF ITALY. Or possibly Asia, because now they're talking about Mithradates.

ETA 3: Now there is a manly face off between Octavian and Tyrannus. TRAGICALLY THEY ARE ON DIFFERENT SIDES. Some good nostril flaring as well.

ETA 4: So, I could tell you what is happening but I don't think you'd believe it. Even after all I've posted. But I am disappointed that they didn't have the guts to have Octavian and Tyrannus kill Antony...at the battle of Mutina. I mean, why stop there? Did they suddenly discover some part of historical integrity or did they think they might be a sequel. EMPIRE II: THE EMPIRING.

ETA 5: So...somehow, quite remarkably, they've decided that Vesta and Minerva are the same goddess. Oh and Augustus won't get his vestal because he's made her head of the order. THE TRAGEDY. Because she wasn't off-limits enough as a regular vestal. But Tyrannus is off to be with his kid. So someone is happy, at least. Well, Cicero appeared remarkably happy for a person who once called Octavian a murderous youth. So, yay, Cicero?

ETA 6 And so it is done. I also have The Last Legion to watch but I'm afraid that if I do so right away my head might explode.

Comments

[namastenancy.livejournal.com]

Oh, don't kill Tyrannus - that chest is too beautiful to waste. Google "Jonathan Cake" and prepare to drool. I'd post a photo of him in full Roman war gear, blandishing a long pointed sword (no hidden meaning there) but I don't know how to upload an image to LJ.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I am sad to say that I think Tyrannus is doomed. Probably at the very moment that Octavian becomes Caesar.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

Rapax is an oddly fitting name. Is there a Murderus there also, by any chance?

Also, if you can ever tear yourself away from perfumed sex toy Octavian, I strongly recommend to you the drama I am currently watching. It will fit right in with your tastes.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I suspect there's one of two of those as well. Rapax is now beating some poor soldier and calling Tyrannus Antony's pet. Perfumed boys and pets! Will it never end?

(I am totally getting geared up for more dramas once the term is over. Such a backlog!)

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

The maker's preoccupation with gay BDSM relationships seems to be...excessive.

Re: dramas. Yay! I can recommend some amazingly cheesy concoctions. (Did you know China remade Autumn In My Heart? Bu without dying at the end, just the coma for the male lead. So they could make a second season with yet more weeping).

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

A coma? Good lord. I MUST KNOW MORE. Did anyone go blind too?

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I don't know. But I do know there is a cdrama in which a manga artist falls for a blind girl, develops cancer, and before he dies, donates his eyeballs to her. It's called Sound of Colors.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

Calixa once told me of the wonders of that one, but I've never been able to get it. I CAN ONLY HOPE THAT ONE DAY MY PATIENCE WILL BE REWARDED.

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

I have it on DVD but I can pm you the download links if you so desire.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't say no to knowing where this wonder might be seen. *whistles*

[namastenancy.livejournal.com]

Octavian? Who is that? It's the gladiator that I lust over. With due appreciation for the manly chest, etc.

What are you currently watching?

[dangermousie.livejournal.com]

A bunch of dramas - some of which are excessively silly (ancient generals reincarnated as emo schoolboys) but, sadly, with nary a chest in evidence.

[nutmeg3.livejournal.com]

Ive been buried in work and haven't had a chance to actually read lj for a couple of days, but your icon is so fab that I just have to comment on it. With glee. :-)

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

IT'S AMAZING. There are more but I am saving uploading them for a day when I need lots of cheer.

[cbackson.livejournal.com]

I am loving these posts, man. Shine on, you crazy Romans...

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

You have no idea how much joy the idea of a perfumed Octavian in the dungeons of gladiators brings me.